Darkbeast, by Morgan Keyes

Morgan Keyes‘ Darkbeast [Amazon | B&N | Mysterious Galaxy], began as a short story in the anthology Fantastic Companions, edited by Julie Czerneda. Which now has me thinking how cool it would be to try to do the same thing with my own story from that anthology… But that’s completely off topic, sorry. I blame this cold, which has turned my brain into overripe cauliflower today.

In Keyes’ story, the companions in question are darkbeasts, creatures given to each newborn by the gods to take the children’s negative feelings and impulses into themselves. For example, when our protagonist Keara disobeys her mother, she’s sent to her darkbeast Caw, a crow who takes Keara’s disobedience into himself. This arrangement lasts until the child’s 12th birthday, at which time the child is expected to kill his or her darkbeast as part of a religious ceremony marking their transition into adulthood.

But unlike most children, Keara loves her darkbeast. She loves their telepathic bond, the comfort and companionship Caw provides. So when the time comes to kill Caw, she refuses. She flees her village, the only home she’s known, and joins up with the Travelers (actors and storytellers who tour from one town to another.)

Caw tends to steal the spotlight. He’s fun, always demanding snacks and treats, and always accepting Keara and all of her faults. But keeping him alive violates one of the core laws of the priesthood, and if the Inquisitors catch Keara, both she and Caw will suffer.

This is a YA middle grade book, relatively short, quick-paced, and easy to read. But I found myself wishing it was longer, with a bit more exploration and discussion of the world, the gods, the religion, the magic… I wanted to know more about how and why things worked the way they did. The structure of the novel means we discover things along with Keara, and many of the revelations don’t show up until the very end of the book.

The book tends to raise questions obliquely, circling around the true roles of the darkbeasts, the place of the Inquisitors, and more. But those questions, while thematically central, are often a step removed from the plot. Keara makes friends and enemies among the Travelers, learns their ways, shares their urgency to create a new and daring performance. And in the midst of those conflicts and struggles, we see how the darkbeasts fit into the children’s lives, and the cost those children pay when they kill their darkbeasts and become adults.

Maybe it’s a matter of taste, but a part of me wishes the story had addressed some of those questions more directly. But it’s not until the end when we finally rip the curtain aside. Which really makes me hope there’s a second book starting where this one left off. (Morgan Keyes – if you’re reading this, that was a hint! 😉 )

ETA: Keyes has confirmed a sequel. Darkbeast Rebellion will be coming out on September 24, 2013.

Who else has read this one, and what did you think?

Christmas Pose-Off: Lights vs. Tights

It began with a simple but unconventional fundraiser: the more people donated to support the Aicardi Syndrome Foundation, the more I would attempt to contort my body into the poses of various book covers, hoping to better illustrate some of the inherent sexism and absurdity of many of these poses. As a special bonus, I offered to challenge award-winning author John Scalzi to a pose-off if we reached certain goals.

We achieved the first goal in a single day, and a mighty battle was fought. Groin muscles were stretched to their very limits. But in the end, with more than 6500 votes cast, I EMERGED VICTORIOUS! Thank you, internet!

We quickly reached the second pose-off goal, and John challenged me to a rematch. But this time, the stakes were higher. This time, we would attempt to match the cover of Only Superhuman … and we would do so in the Christmas regalia of our choice!

Both of us grabbed our Nerf guns, decorated ourselves with whatever we had available, and prepared to flash our oh-so-pale bellies at the world.

As before, my thanks to my wife Amy for helping with the photoshoot and her patience while we tried various tricks to approximate the cover art (including a rather painful shot with my head and shoulders hanging off one end of the piano bench.)

It’s time for the rematch you’ve all been waiting for. It’s time to make (or break) your holiday spirit! It’s time for Hines vs. Scalzi: The Reposinating!

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Choose the Form of the Scalzi

Yesterday, the Aicardi Syndrome Foundation fundraiser crossed the $10,000 line, with twelve days left to go. I admit, I’m wincing a little in anticipation of all the poses yet to do, but mostly I’m just amazed and grateful and stunned and happy. Thank you all! I’m working on details of the $10,000 goal, and will post that as soon as things are finalized.

Yesterday also saw the end of the first Jim Hines vs. John Scalzi pose-off, in which Mister Scalzi SHAMELESSLY tried to buy people’s votes by offering to donate more money to ASF. The NERVE of that guy! I’m happy to say I still won the pose-off, with 54% of the roughly 6500 votes. Here in the U.S., we call that a MANDATE! Score one for democracy

But John Scalzi is not one to accept defeat. He has already challenged me to a rematch. A CHRISTMAS-THEMED rematch, to be posted on December 25!

I considered challenging him to do the cover of his own book The God Engines [Amazon | B&N | Mysterious Galaxy], mostly for the amusement factor. Then I thought about pulling something off of Escher Girls, like maybe this illustration of Wonder Woman. And then I found myself looking at some anime covers that made the Wonder Woman illustration look positively tame.

Then I realized my brain was still pudding after hitting $10,000, and that I clearly needed help. So I turn to you for help, oh Internet!

WHAT COVER SHOULD WE INFLICT UPON MISTER SCALZI? And also myself, since we’ll both be doing this one. Leave your suggestion in the comments, and if yours is chosen, I’ll send you an autographed copy of the Heroes in Training [Amazon | B&N | Mysterious Galaxy] anthology I edited a few years back.

(I may also steal a few suggestions for the other cover poses I need to do. If I choose your idea for one of those, I’ll send you my undying gratitude!)

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And in other awesome charity news, Peter Brett is once again organizing a Dungeons & Dragons game at ConFusion with me, Saladin Ahmed, Myke Cole, Pat Rothfuss, Mary Robinette Kowal, Diana Rowland, and Sam Sykes. And he’s auctioning off one additional spot in the game, with the proceeds going to Worldbuilders for Heifers International.

Poses: Round Two

We’re halfway through the month, and the Aicardi Syndrome Foundation fundraiser has brought in more than $7000 in donations. Not to mention sparking more good conversation about sexism in the way women are portrayed and objectified. Thank you all so much.

As before, if any of the pics below bleed off the screen, clicking it should open a new, easier-to-see copy.

This trio of covers included two comic books, because apparently my readers are cruel and sadistic people. As bad as the poses on some covers can be, comics tend to take it even further.

I started with Catwoman Vol. 1: The Game (The New 52).

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Wait, What Were We Laughing At?

Way back in the beginning of 2012 when I started doing this cover pose thing, the idea was to take the poses many female characters are contorted into for book covers, and to find a way to highlight exactly how ridiculous and impractical they were. And also to have fun. I definitely wanted it to be fun. I followed up with a continuation of the discussion, looking at the fact that yes, men are sexualized and objectified too, but not in the same ways. Men’s poses are almost always less physically awkward, more “action-ready,” and more powerful.

When I started the Aicardi Syndrome Foundation cover pose fundraiser, I saw it as 1) a way to take something fun and do more of it while supporting a great cause, and 2) a way to continue pointing out problematic poses on our book covers.

The trouble is, I didn’t spend much time introducing and contextualizing the Cover Pose Tradition at the start of the fundraiser. And when we did the first Scalzi/Hines pose-off, while I plugged the fundraiser, I didn’t provide any context at all for why we were doing this.

For my regular readers, that shouldn’t be a problem. But the Scalzi/Hines piece got a lot of press from places like Fark and Boing-Boing, meaning a lot of folks came in and saw two SF/F authors dressing up/posing like women for charity. And some of the reaction began to shift from, “I say, those poses seem remarkably impractical, and how exactly does one do that without dislocating one’s ankle?” to “Hey, guys dressing or posing like girls are both ugly and hilarious!”

This is on me. My blog, my fundraiser, my responsibility. It’s not like I’m unaware of John’s internet appeal and the likely results of our pose-off. (Though even so, the response was bigger than I could have imagined, and I appreciate that – thank you.) But I was caught up in the excitement of raising a lot of money for a good cause, and the flat-out fun of competing with a goofy and good-natured friend. So I didn’t think enough about how this might all come across, nor did I take the time to introduce and contextualize what we were doing.

I apologize for that mistake.

Both John and I had fun with this. Speaking for myself, I want you to laugh at the absurdity of these poses. Sure, one of the reasons I use props like butter knives and giant teddy bears is because I’m cheap and don’t want to pay for real props. But another reason is that I want to encourage the laughter.

I can handle good-natured ribbing, too. I know that when I post these pictures, I can expect an email from my brother asking me to reimburse him for another five years of therapy. I know where that’s coming from, and I’ll get him back soon enough.

But if you’re laughing because you’re a straight guy and therefore must declare all male bodies brain-searingly ugly? If you’re laughing because you think a man in a dress is funny and should be mocked? In other words, if you’re laughing because of various aspects of ingrained sexism, homophobia, transphobia, and other discriminatory nonsense? Then you’ve missed the point so badly it’s not even funny.

For the record, John Scalzi is damned sexy. He’s a smart, funny, and yes, good-looking man. For me, what makes his cover pose pic great is his obvious humor and self-confidence. Do I want to hop into bed with him? Well, not really. For one thing, I’m straight. For another, his wife would kick my ass. (Or else she’d want to watch, and then there would be performance anxiety issues, and I’m dealing with enough pressure these days.) And of course, I have leg stubble that would probably make it less pleasant for both of us. But I can look at that picture, grin, and say, “Yeah, that’s a man who rolled well in the Charisma department.”

So please do me a favor. Step back and ask yourself what exactly you’re laughing at, and where that’s coming from. ‘Cause I’m starting to see some rather problematic reactions out there.

And for my part, I apologize again, and will work to do a better job introducing and contextualizing the rest of these poses.

Thanks.

Pose-off with John Scalzi

ETA: While the overall response to the fundraiser and pics continues to be exponentially awesome, I’ve also seen a few areas where response has begun to shift from, “I say, those poses seem remarkably impractical, and how exactly does one do that without dislocating one’s ankle?” to “Hey, guys dressing or posing like girls are both ugly and hilarious!” Which misses the point so badly it’s not even funny. Please see this follow-up post for my thoughts on the context of these poses, the hotness of John Scalzi, and my apology for not better framing and presenting this post in the first place.

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When I started the Aicardi Syndrome Fundraiser, I recruited bestselling author and ukulele prodigy John Scalzi to be a bonus goal when we hit the $1000 mark.

We raised that much on the first day. Which meant it was time to see once and for all (at least until the next round) who was the true cover-posing master!

I issued the challenge, offering him the choice of three book covers to imitate. With the help of his readers, he selected The Taste of Night [Amazon | B&N | Mysterious Galaxy], by Vicki Pettersson.

This was the big one. After warming up, I took a break to walk off the pains of the previous poses, and to mentally prepare myself. I meditated for three days and six nights. I purified my body with a diet of crushed ice, unbuttered toast, and green Skittles. I studied one of our cat to learn the true secret of flexibility. Unfortunately, all I learned was the secret of well-timed cat farts.

But my training period was over. I put the Rocky soundtrack on the stereo, changed clothes, and began Operation Sexy Leg.

My wife took eight photos, helping me to adjust my stance each time, then giving me a chance to fall down between takes. But I think it was worth it!

Dear Internet: I present to you my version of The Taste of Night!

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Poses: Round One

EXCITING ANNOUNCEMENT OF THE DAY: If we make it to the $5000 fundraising goal, then the reward will be a group cover photo with myself, John Scalzi, Pat Rothfuss, Charles Stross, and Mary Robinette Kowal. I’m already starting to make arrangements for this to happen at ConFusion in January.

Thus far, we’ve raised more than $3700 for the Aicardi Syndrome Foundation. More information about the fundraiser and Aicardi Syndrome is available on the original post, here.

I spent much of this weekend gathering props and trying to figure out how to turn our office/library into a makeshift photo studio. I’m pretty happy with the results. Thanks as always to my wife Amy, the eternally patient and helpful photographer, who kept limping over to adjust the angle of my knee or move my hand.

If part of a pic gets cut off on your screen, clicking the picture should open up the full image for you.

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A Challenge to the One Known as Scalzi

Dear Mister Scalzi,

You knew this day would come. Ever since Chicago, when we faced one another on the stage, hips out-thrust, chests bulging in the instinctive challenge pose, a pose written into our very DNA, the product of millions of years of geeky evolution. From the days when the very first cave-nerd dislocated his spine in order to imitate the ridiculously disproportionate and improbably attired cavewoman on the classic fantasy cave painting Saber-Tooth Vixens of Mars, the true alpha beta upsilon males of our herd have established their dominance through the time-honored tradition of the pose-off.[1. And also through annoyingly wordy run-on sentences.]

As a proud upsilon male, I cannot allow your actions to go unanswered a moment longer. The time has come for you to pose-up or shut up. I challenge you, sir, to a pose off!

Tradition allows you to choose from one of three covers, which I present to you here.

As is the custom of our people, once you post your pose and whatever commentary or extras you wish to include, you shall be judged on accuracy, wardrobe, props, humor, and all-around ridiculousness.

In return, I shall attempt to duplicate the cover of your choosing.[2. Feel free to choose one of these, or even the same one, or something completely different. DO YOUR WORST, SCALZI! JIM C. HINES DOES NOT FEAR YOU!]

I look forward to your answer, sir.[3. The challenger is not responsible for any injuries suffered in the process of attempting to duplicate these poses. Possible side effects of cover posing include muscle cramps, popped joints, pulled groins, mockery, and increased awareness of sexism. Please consult your doctor if you experience a cover pose lasting longer than four hours. Attempting these poses will void manufacturer’s warranty. Do not pose while using Happy Fun Ball.]

Yours,
Jim

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Cover Posing for a Good Cause

TOTAL RAISED: $15,430

Long ago (in internet terms), I posted a series of pictures in which I attempted to duplicate the cover poses of various fantasy heroines. This quickly became my most-viewed blog post ever. Later, in response to various calls of, “But men are objectified too!” I did a follow-up, posing like the men in order to illustrate the difference in how men and women are portrayed.

Since then, I regularly get emails and Tweets pointing me to genderswapped Avengers, men posing like car wash cheerleaders, and more. (I now have a better understanding of how John Scalzi must feel as the internet’s unofficial Emperor of All Things Bacon.)12/16/12

The other thing I get are requests to pose like various covers, whether it’s the Catwoman comic or the latest spinally-challenged urban fantasy heroine. At one point, a friend on Twitter said they’d pay $5 to see me try a particular pose. And that gave me an idea…

Welcome to the first annual Cover Pose Fundraiser

I spent a while trying to decide what cause I wanted to support. And then something happened. One of my high school classmates Jen posted on Facebook that she needed a ride to the hospital. Her eleven-year-old daughter Madison was in the hospital as a result of complications from a rare condition known as Aicardi Syndrome. It was the first time I had seen Jen in ages.

Madison died a few days later.

I had learned about Aicardi several years earlier, from my friends Michael and Lynne Thomas, both of whom are active in the SF/F community. Michael is an author as well as Managing Editor at Apex Magazine, and has been an Associate Editor for Mad Norwegian Press. Lynne is a curator, editor, podcaster, and two-time Hugo winner.

Their daughter Caitlin has Aicardi Syndrome. I felt fortunate to be able to introduce Jen to Michael when Madison was first diagnosed, trying to connect her to a source of information and support.

Caitlin Thomas (Photo Used With Permission)

This is a condition which affects 1 in 105,000 girls born in the U.S. It causes brain malformation, visual problems, seizures, developmental delays, and other medical complications. Most research puts the life expectancy for people with Aicardi between 8 and 16 years.

I can’t imagine what these families go through trying to care for their children. It’s one thing to have a child with a known condition, like diabetes. (I swear, I can’t throw a cupcake without hitting another diabetic.) It’s hard, but diabetes is treatable. It’s better known. There are others who can ease your fears and help you through.

Aicardi Syndrome is incurable. It’s hard to diagnose. It’s scary and overwhelming, and most people have never heard of it.

The Aicardi Syndrome Foundation is pretty much the only source in the United States for funding into research on this condition. The foundation also funds a family conference every two years, paying for hotel rooms, flying in researchers, and even covering many of the meals. It unites families fighting this disease, connecting them to a network of support they might otherwise never find.

I’m asking people to donate to the Aicardi Syndrome Foundation. In exchange, I will give you what the internet has deemed my most important contribution to society: ridiculous cover poses. All you have to do is email me at ASF@jimchines.com letting me know how much you donated. If you give more than $25, please include a copy of your receipt from the foundation.

I’ll pick donors at random to suggest covers for me to try to duplicate. My only rule is that it has to be PG-13 or less.

As an added bonus, if we hit $1000, I’ll challenge award-winning and bestselling author John Scalzi to a competitive pose-off.

Targets at which you get new cover poses are:

So there you have it. I’ll keep the fundraiser open through the end of the year, and will update regularly with the total raised and with links to the cover poses as we hit our goals.

Thank you.

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