Jim C. Hines
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October 21, 2013 /

Legend of Korra: Beginnings, Parts 1+2

Legend of Korra
2 x 7: Beginnings, Part 1
2 x 8: Beginnings, Part 2

Full episodes available at Nick.com.

Episode Summary (from the Avatar Wiki): Korra learns about the origins of the first Avatar and realizes what she must do to restore balance to the physical and spirit worlds.

More

October 18, 2013 /

Cool Stuff Friday

Happy Friday, all! I’m really, really hoping to have a draft of Unbound I can submit to my editor by the end of this weekend. If I do, I may reward myself by trying to put a costume together for Windycon. Don’t know if I’ll be able to pull it off, but there’s an idea that’s taken hold of my brain…

  • Amazing and wonderful costumes of New York Comic Con, from Tor.com. I particularly loved the service dog dressed as Captain America.
  • 13 pictures of goats on cliffs. (As usual, don’t read the comments.) I was a little skeptical about this, but I did some digging and verified that at least some–possibly all–of these photos are genuine. And now I’ll be singing “Spider-Goat, Spider-Goat, does whatever a Spider-Goat can” for the rest of the day.
  • Model maker and photographer Michael Paul Smith’s forced perspective photographs.
  • Maria Keller, 13-Year-Old Minnesota Girl, Donates 1 Million Books.
  • This one is totally self-serving, but still cool! Graphic Audio is offering a talking (chirping, really) Smudge with purchase of the goblin trilogy for the rest of October. Or you can order Smudge directly.
  • 100,000 Stars. Basically, a Google Map of the galaxy. Though it won’t give me driving directions to Gamma Draconis 🙁
  • From a few years back: Botanists in Israel grew a tree that’s been extinct for 1500 years, using seeds from 2000 years ago.
  • Finally, from the Mary Sue, check out this Labyrinth family cosplay:

October 16, 2013 /

Fake Writer Girls!

By now, I assume most of you are familiar with the Fake Geek Girl phenomenon, in which women’s geek credentials are repeatedly challenged, because everyone knows girls don’t like geek stuff. (Isn’t that right, Big Bang Theory?) It gets even worse if the woman in question is traditionally attractive, because even if we acknowledge the possibility of the occasional female geek, we all know she has to be ugly and socially maladjusted, right? Fortunately, we have men who tirelessly volunteer their time to challenge and harass these wannabes.

Because do you know what would happen if we let Fake Geek Girls into the inner circle of geekdom? PURE, UNMITIGATED GIRL-COOTIES!

Well let me tell you, Fake Geek Girls have nothing on the Fake Writer Girls. You know the ones I mean. Those women who think they can write stories and books that are just as good and important and serious as the ones written by us men. It’s almost like they don’t even understand that their work is inherently inferior, because GIRLS!

One of the best ways to spot a Fake Writer Girl is by looking for Mary Sues, those unrealistically competent, know-it-all, oh-so-special characters who are the Best at Everything! They’re nothing but silly, estrogen-fueled wish fulfillment fantasies. Like a girl could ever be an active, competent character. Oh, those wacky Fake Writer Girls and their ridiculously super-special heroines. If only they could write realistic, heroic protagonists like Ender Wiggin, James Bond, Eragon, Lazarus Long, Clark Kent, Kvothe Kingkiller, Legolas…

And don’t get me started on how they’re ruining science fiction and fantasy with their romance cooties! Urban fantasy? Paranormal romance? Why don’t they care about the history of our genre? SF/F stories should be about spaceships! and swords! and fighting! and yes, the occasional hooking up, but only when it’s nubile young women throwing themselves at manly protagonists!

It would be nice if these Fake Writer Girls could just stay in the romance section, because we all know romance isn’t a real genre. I mean, sure, romance makes up 55% of all fiction sales, but a real man wouldn’t be caught dead reading that stuff, so it doesn’t count. Besides, ALL ROMANCE NOVELS ARE JUST FORMULAIC, UNIMAGINATIVE HACKWORK! (On a totally unrelated note, I just remembered that I have to write a review of this awesome book I read last week. It’s just like Lord of the Rings, except instead of a ring, it’s a cursed dagger! Brilliantly original stuff.)

You might laugh, but Fake Writer Girls present a real threat to real writers like me, writers who write while also being guys. Just look at this report from VIDA that shows how lady writers are stealing review space from hard-working men! They took 33% of the book reviews in The Atlantic, 36% from Harpers, 26% from the London Review of Books, 19% from the New York Review of Books, and 34% from the New York Times. And they want to take even more review space away from real (i.e., male) authors! Why can’t they be happy getting slightly more than half of the reviews in Romantic Times and leave the rest to us? Why do they have to hurt men’s careers with their Fake Writer Girl Agendas?

Here are just a few known Fake Writer Girls, authors whose work you definitely should not immediately go check out and buy and read and tell all of your friends about.

Please feel free to suggest others in the comments. Because the more you know…

Known Fake Writer Girls

  • Jaime Lee Moyer – Wrote a perfectly good book about vengeful ghosts, then ruined it with relationships and romance!
  • Seanan McGuire – Prolific and popular. Stole multiple spots on the NYT Bestsellers List from deserving boy authors.
  • Nalo Hopkinson – Her first book was Brown Girl in the Ring. Yeah, right. Call me when you write Brown Alpha Male in the Ring, amirite?
  • Elizabeth Bear – Not only does she sneak relationship-cooties into her work, I’ve even seen her brag about doing it!
  • Laura Anne Gilman – Sure, she’s been an editor as well as a Nebula-nominated author, but she also wrote some books for Luna. Romance! Fake Writer Girl! Unclean!
  • Nnedi Okorafor – We all know she’s an award-winning novelist, but she’s also writing a Disney Fairies book. Need I say more?
  • Kameron Hurley – Not just a fake writer girl, but a militant fake writer girl who actively blogs about girl stuff like sexism in addition to writing books.
  • Mary Robinette Kowal – Her work has been described as Jane Austen with magic. That’s another dead giveaway right there. And if that’s not enough, she also plays with puppets!
  • Alethea Kontis – She’s doing fairy tale retellings. Hmph. Fairy tale books are only worth reading if they’re written by a man!
  • Tansy Rayner Roberts – That’s right, even Australia has Fake Writer Girls!!!
  • Amal El-Mohtar – Yep, Canada too!
  • J. V. Jones – Sure, she was writing grimdark fantasy decades ago, but do we really have to mention her when we talk about grimdark fantasy? Can’t we just talk about the men?
October 15, 2013 /

Kaleidoscope Guest Post: Chupacabra’s Song

I have a guest post on the Kaleidoscope blog today, talking about “Chupacabra’s Song,” the story I wrote earlier this year about Nicola Pallas, who would go on to become the Midwest Regional Master of the Porters, back when she was teenager.

From my post:

Nicola Pallas didn’t start out autistic. In the first draft of Libriomancer, the character was named Nikos, a weary, arrogant man described as looking ‘like an accountant in his plain suit and tie, gold-rimmed glasses, with thinning black hair.’ He was also neurotypical, which raises the question, Why did I go back and make the character autistic?

There’s another, equally valid question, albeit one I rarely hear. Why did I make the character neurotypical in the first place?

Check it out. And if you’re so inclined, head on over to the Kaleidoscope Fundraising Page. A $15 donation earns earns a Twelfth Planet Ebook and an ebook copy of the Kaleidoscope anthology. You could consider it a pre-order that supports an anthology of diverse YA fantasy.

October 13, 2013 /

Legend of Korra: The Sting

Legend of Korra
2 x 6: The Sting

Full episodes available at Nick.com.

Episode Summary (from the Avatar Wiki): When triad activity threatens to put Future Industries out of business, Mako performs an investigation and uncovers a conspiracy.

More

October 13, 2013 /

Picking Winners

I had two winners to pick, one for the giveaway for people who donated to help Eugie Foster fight cancer, and one for the cover reveal post over on io9 where we asked people to caption the cover of The Goblin Master’s Grimoire.

The captions at io9 were a lot of fun. Some of my favorites:

  • “I’ve heard of handbooks, but this is ridiculous!” –Doxx
  • “Not in the face!” –bewareofgeek (A very in-character comment for Jig.)
  • “IT’S OVERDUE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” –A Wild Comment Appears

And the winner is:

  • “Klaatu Barada N… Necktie… Neckturn… Nickel… It’s an “N” word, it’s definitely an N word! Klaatu… Barada… N…[coughs] [pause] Okay then… that’s it.” –LongCorpse

Because I’m a geek who appreciates a well-placed Army of Darkness quote.

I also very much wanted to thank everyone for supporting Eugie. (You can still help – details are here.) I picked a winner at random from everyone who commented or emailed me.

I’ve contacted both winners.

That is all. Thank you, and please carry on with your normal Sunday activities.

October 11, 2013 /

Cool Stuff Friday

Happy Friday, all! Have some cool stuff!

  • 29 Cats That Forgot How To Cat. (Since people seemed to appreciate the last set of cat pics and gifs.)
  • Polar bear playing with sled dogs. (Link from hilleviw.)
  • 16-Year-Old Egyptian Scientist Finds Way to Turn Plastic Waste Into $78 Million of Biofuel.
  • 50 people share the most intellectual jokes they know.
  • 10-Year-Old Accidentally Creates New Molecule in Science Class.
  • Finally, tonight I’ll be running my son’s very first D&D game. Behold, his character and brand new dice! (I’m jealous. His dice are SO MUCH COOLER than my first dice, which were pale blue, and I had to use a white crayon to fill in the numbers.)

 

October 9, 2013 /

Giveaways, Cover Art, Diverse YA, and More

Welcome to this week’s grab bag blog post, wherein I try to fit in a bit of everything.

Thing one: Kaleidoscope is a YA anthology edited by Julia Rios and Alisa Krasnostein that will be published by Twelfth Planet Press, and will feature teen protagonists from diverse backgrounds. They’ve already accepted stories from Sofia Samatar, Ken Liu, Vylar Kaftan, and me.

My story is “Chupacabra’s Song,” and is about Nicola Pallas (from the Libriomancer books) discovering magic and trying to save a group of chupacabras. This is the story I asked for help with earlier this year. I received some very helpful feedback and suggestions.

The fundraiser page for the anthology is here, and they’ve already raised more than 25% of what they need to make this project happen. Once they reach the $7000 mark, they’ll open the anthology up for general submissions.

Thing two: io9 has posted the cover for my upcoming collection The Goblin Master’s Grimoire. The artwork is by Emily Fiegenschuh, and if you head over to the io9 post quickly enough, you can suggest a caption for the cover and be entered to win a copy of Libriomancer. The collection will be available as a hardcover and e-book. The hardcover is up for pre-order from the ISFiC Press site.

Here’s the full contents of the collection:

Introduction by John Scalzi
Goblin Lullaby
The Haunting of Jig’s Ear
Goblin Hunter
School Spirit
The Blue Corpse Corps
’Twas the Night of Midwinter: A Goblin Christmas
Sister of the Hedge
Corrupted
In the Line of Duty
Heart of Ash
Daddy’s Little Girl
Original Gangster
Ours to Fight For
Gift of the Kites
Blade of the Bunny
Spell of the Sparrow
Over the Hill
The Creature in Your Neighborhood
Untrained Melody
Mightier than the Sword
Kitemaster
Jim Hines: The Wizard We Deserve by Seanan McGuire
A Jim C. Hines Bibliography by Steven H Silver

Thing three: I’m part of the SF Signal Mind Meld today, talking about media tie-in works. (Yeah, I misremembered the title of Splinter of the Mind’s Eye. It’s been decades since I read that book, and I was working from memory 😛 )

October 8, 2013 /

Fundraising for Eugie Foster

In yesterday’s blog post, I commented that several people I knew had recently been diagnosed with cancer, or had loved once who had been diagnosed. One of the people I was talking about is author Eugie Foster.

I’m gonna do a little boasting here and say I was the editor who published Eugie in her first DAW anthology, back when I was editing Heroes in Training. Because her story was awesome, that’s why!

Like so many of us, Eugie’s finances have been rather tight. She has a fundraising post here. You can buy her short story collections or individual stories. She also – after being prodded to do so – posted an email address where you can donate directly via PayPal. Which gave me an idea…

If you PayPal a donation to eugie@eugiefoster.com and let me know, either in the comments here or by emailing me directly (jchines -at- sff.net), I’ll enter you in a drawing to win your choice of either Heroes in Training (with Eugie’s story Honor is a Game Mortals Play”), or Unidentified Funny Objects 2 (with my story “Stranger vs. the Malevolent Malignancy).


I’ll pick a winner at random next week. This is open to anyone and everyone. And thank you.

October 7, 2013 /

Laughing at Cancer

Unidentified Funny Objects 2 [Amazon | B&N | UFO Pub], an anthology edited by Alex Shvartsman, is now available in e-book format. I believe the trade paperback is out as well (or will be any day now).

I’m not sure why we needed big chrome boobs on the cover, but Alex has put together some impressive names, such as Esther Friesner, Ken Liu, Tim Pratt, Robert Silverberg, and more.

My story in the anthology is called “Stranger vs. the Malevolent Malignancy,” and it’s all Jay Lake’s fault. Jay has been battling cancer for years, and as is his way, he’s talked openly and honestly about his experiences on his blog. Right around the time I was searching for an idea to write about for UFO2, Jay wrote a post talking about humor – even morbid humor – as a coping mechanism.

“Humor is incredibly subjective at the best of times. Humor in the face of mind-numbing adversity… If I couldn’t laugh at this at least some of the time, I’d have curled up and died of grief and fear a long time ago.”

His post stuck with me. It reinforced a lot of the things I believe about the power and value of humor. And so I decided to write a funny story about cancer.

As it turns out, it’s a bit of a challenge to make a story about terminal cancer funny. Especially when you’re trying very hard not to minimize or gloss over the reality of cancer, the unfairness and the indignity and the grief and the reality of it all.

I ended up writing about a superhero named The Stranger, whose powers include the ability to talk to objects. Including his own inoperable tumor.

While I was working on the story, Jay announced his terminal diagnosis. Since that time, the SF/F community lost author and advocate Ann Crispin to cancer. Several other people I know have revealed that they or their loved ones are fighting cancer. And I find myself more and more relating to one of the characters from the story, who says, “The point is, fuck cancer.”

I asked Jay if he was okay with me using some of the details he’d shared in his blog when I wrote the story. Jay was kind enough not only to say yes, but to offer to read it when I was done. (Which means if you read the story and hate it, it’s officially ALL JAY’S FAULT!) I might have also used him as the basis for a head-in-a-jar who used to be a superhero but is now a psychiatrist…

I’ve read the story in public several times now, and it was scary. Scary to talk bluntly about something we often try not to think about, and scary because while I know my intentions with the story, there was no guarantee I’d succeeded. If I screwed this one up, not only would I have a broken story, but I’d have written something that could potentially hurt and offend a lot of people.

So far, the reaction has been positive, which gives me hope that I got it right. No story works for everyone, of course. But humor is both a coping mechanism and a way to confront fear and ugliness. And I can think of few things more frightening and ugly than cancer.

A story can’t cure cancer. But maybe — hopefully — it can bring a little light to those in the midst of that battle.

ETA: Author J. W. Alden is giving away an autographed copy of the anthology on his blog. Just comment to enter.

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Coming Oct. 21

Slayers of Old
Amazon | B&N | Bookshop | Audible

Blog Archives

Free Fiction

  • Stranger vs. the Malevolent Malignancy, at Podcastle
  • The Creature in Your Neighborhood at Apex Magazine
  • How Isaac Met Smudge at Literary Escapism
  • Gift of the Kites at Clarkesworld
  • Original Gangster at Fantasy Magazine
  • Goblin Lullaby (audio) at PodCastle
  • Spell of the Sparrow (audio) at PodCastle

Banner artwork by Katy Shuttleworth.



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Jim C. Hines