May 20, 2014 / Uncategorized

Guest Post at Special Needs in Strange Worlds

I have a guest post at Sarah Chorn’s Special Needs in Strange Worlds feature over at SF Signal today: Writing with Depression:

I get anxious every time one of my books comes out. Will this one sell as well as the last? Will people like it? Will Spielberg finally call me up and offer me an obscene amount of money to turn my books into blockbusters? Will this be the book that tanks and destroys my career, forcing me to live on the streets and hunt rats for food?

From what I’ve seen, that anxiety is pretty typical for most novelists. But I’m particularly nervous about my next book, Unbound. This is the third book in my current series, and will probably be out in very early 2015, give or take a few months. I’ve put my protagonist Isaac through an awful lot in the first two books. As a result of those events, when we see Isaac again in Unbound, he’s struggling with clinical depression.

Thanks to Sarah and SF Signal for running these essays!

10 Comments

celli
May 20, 2014 @ 2:04 pm

This is great. I see some definite similarities with my depressive states – “functional…[but] living a life almost entirely devoid of joy” hit me especially close to home.
Lark @ The Bookwyrm's Hoard
May 20, 2014 @ 10:26 pm

Thank you for writing this, Jim. While my issue has been anxiety rather than depression, I appreciate everyone with a voice and a forum who speaks truth about living with these illnesses. They’re treatable, and they are real, and they aren’t something you can get over through willpower or trying harder. I’m glad you were able to get a diagnosis and treatment — and I’m glad for all of us who enjoy reading your books that it has actually enhanced your writing flow and output! (Yay, more books for us!!!)
Jim C. Hines
May 21, 2014 @ 7:54 am

Thank you.

Yeah … and because I was more or less functional, I kept telling myself I wasn’t really Depressed. I was still doing the stuff that needed to be done, right? Sigh.
Jim C. Hines
May 21, 2014 @ 8:00 am

Thanks, Lark. I’m glad too 🙂

I have a family member who’s been struggling with an anxiety disorder. I really wish our society would talk more openly about this sort of “invisible” illness so we could do more to remove both the stigma and the ignorance…
celli
May 21, 2014 @ 9:46 am

Sigh indeed.

I still have days where “functional” is the upper limit for the day (although they’re fewer). But on the days where human emotions kick in, and I’m actually happy with my life and excited instead of dreading the future…those are the *best* days. It’s like finding fresh air after you’ve been half-smothered for what feels like forever.
Jim C. Hines
May 21, 2014 @ 10:19 am

I’ve described it as finally feeling like *me* again. I felt that way after I got the antidepressant dosage right. I had the same experience when I was diagnosed with diabetes and got my blood sugar under control. I had gotten sick gradually enough I hadn’t even noticed until it went away, and then suddenly it was like Dorothy waking up in Oz. “Look! Colors!!!”
Lark @ The Bookwyrm's Hoard
May 21, 2014 @ 11:34 am

“… remove both the stigma and the ignorance.” Yes. Absolutely.
Leslie R.
May 22, 2014 @ 11:56 am

Thank you, as always, for sharing your journey. That whole “functional…[but] living a life almost entirely devoid of joy” pretty much describes me right now (sometimes less functional than others). While I don’t feel that my depression enhances my creativity (my writing is definitely suffering right now) I’ve tried quite a few different medications and definitely felt that they inhibited it (along with other unpleasant side effects). Possibly I just haven’t found the right combination yet, but it gets exhausting after a while. I’m presently trying to improve my eating habits and exercise more, which seems to be helping some, and I’m trying to get into meditation. I may have to give medication another try at some point, but I hope not to. I know it helps a lot of people, though, and I’m happy it’s working for you. I’m definitely looking forward to reading more of Isaac’s adventure’s.
Jim C. Hines
May 23, 2014 @ 8:11 am

Thanks, Leslie. And yeah, I got very lucky with medication. I have a family member who’s been working to get a related issue under control, and the trial-and-error process with medication has been both frustrating and draining. Between trying to find the right med, the right dosage, and dealing with side effects, it can be really difficult.

I’m glad you’re finding a few things that seem to help a bit, and I hope you’re able to kick major brain-weasel ass.
Sarah Worrel
May 27, 2014 @ 3:34 pm

Thank you for sharing. I’d guess that the people who say anyone can work harder and just “get over” depression haven’t lived through it. Don’t let their ignorance bother you.

I’ve had dysthymia since I was 14 and things got worse with post-partum depression three years ago. Therapy and finding the right combination of meds allowed me to be excited about something again (the possibilities of a brand-new semester in college).

Thanks for showing that authors are everyday people, with their own stuff they’re dealing with ; )