On Tuesday afternoon, I drove out to the MSU Pavilion in East Lansing to get my first dose of the Pfizer COVID vaccine.

I’d registered with several different places. Hospitals, drug stores, grocery stores … but the county health department was the first place where I could go ahead and schedule an appointment.

I’d expected to be in the group for folks under 65 with preexisting conditions, thanks to the diabetes. Michigan hasn’t quite gotten to them yet. But they did open things up for caretakers of children with special needs.

I was torn about this. Technically, there’s no question that I’d qualify. But I second guessed whether I deserved to get in line yet. And I’m still confused why the caretakers for the kids get their shots, but not the kids — even the kids over 16.

But after talking to someone at the health department and reading the advice from professionals (if you qualify, go ahead and get the vaccine), I went ahead and signed up.

I know every state is rolling things out differently, and even within the same state, you may have a very different experience from one place to the next. But I was really impressed with how smoothly everything went.

I got there about ten minutes early, because it’s me. A man in a vest separated the cars into two lines, depending on whether you were there for your first or second shot. As we waited in line, other people checked our IDs and gave us paperwork to fill out.

In less than ten minutes, I was pulling into the pavilion. They had maybe ten lanes set up for us to pull into.

Another person came by, took my paperwork, and wrote a 1 on my windshield with a grease pencil (for First Shot). a few minutes later, I was getting my shot, all without ever leaving the car.

It stung a little more than my flu shot, but much less than the blood draw from a few weeks back. And it only hurt for a half second. Then I got a tiny band aid on my dragon tattoo, and was told to chill for 15 minutes so they could make sure I didn’t have a reaction.

I played a little Pokémon Go. They came by several times to check on me. They also gave me my card and scheduled me for my second shot at the end of the month.

And then our row was starting up our cars and driving away. The whole thing, from arrival to leaving, took well under an hour.

My shoulder was a bit sore the next day. It felt like I had a bruise. Not bad, but definitely noticeable. Today, it’s pretty much back to normal.

I’m told the second shot can hit you harder. I’ll plan on taking it easy after that one. But so far, this has been very mild.

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I know a lot of people are justifiably frustrated at the inconsistent rollout of the vaccine. Groups who’ve already been vaccinated in one state are still on the waiting list in another. This is absolutely not meant to be a gloating “I got mine!” post. But I’ve had people ask questions about the experience, so I figured it might help to share exactly what the process was like for me.

I’m still going to be careful. I’m still going to wear masks and avoid social gatherings.

And I’m still incredibly impatient for the day when all of my friends and loved ones are protected from this thing.

The title feels like an oxymoron for me, at least at first glance. My productivity over the past year definitely hasn’t been up to my normal standards. But of course, very little about the past year has been normal.

Exercise: I’ve been trying to use the new year as a kind of mental soft reboot. I’d slipped some in terms of exercise. Since I have a handy little tracker for steps, standing time, and exercise, I tried to focus on closing those three rings every day. Some days I got a better workout than others. Some days I barely squeaked by. But check it out:

This streak is unlikely to continue. I wasn’t aiming for a perfect 2021. The goal was to try to create some momentum, and rebuild old habits that had slipped over the past year.

In terms of health, I should probably take a closer look at my diet as well. But one thing at a time.

Writing: I’ve been a bit frustrated and discouraged on the writing front. My wife’s cancer in 2019 followed by the effects of the pandemic in 2020 have resulted in Terminal Peace being very late to my editor, and now we’re looking at a longer-than-usual delay to the actual release date. And another project I’d been hopeful for has not gone anywhere.

I hate the fact that there’s a good chance I won’t have a new book out in 2021. It feels like failure, even though I know better.

I spent the last few months of 2020 not really knowing what to focus on. Should I start a new book while I waited for revisions to come back from my editor? Should it be an adult book for DAW or something new and potentially riskier?

After trying a few things and chatting with my agent, I started 2021 with a better idea what I wanted to focus on. I haven’t been doing the 1000+ words/day I sometimes managed in the Before Times, and I haven’t written every single day, but I averaged about 600-700 words a day for January, and the result is about half of a first novel draft.

This is the new and riskier path. There’s a chance that this could be another project that doesn’t sell. But I’m making decent progress, and despite all the usual first-draft problems, I think it has potential.

I also have an idea for my next novel for DAW. I’m waiting to hear back from folks at my agency before I write up that pitch. My hope is that even if I don’t have a new book out in 2021, maybe I can at least sell one this year.

It’s a long way from where I want to be, writing-wise. I’d love to get back to doing some short fiction, and I want to branch out more as a writer. But again, right now, I think it’s more about regaining momentum.

Other Productivity: This is the stuff I think I and other people tend to overlook about the past year. Because sometimes “productivity” can be as simple as “I survived.”

Survival has used up more spoons than usual. I need to keep remembering to cut myself some slack, and to give myself credit for things like keeping everything going safely at home for me and the kids, making sure we’re keeping connected with family, finding ways to take care of our needs without unnecessary health risks, and so on.

A lot of it — cooking, cleaning, finances, etc. — is the same stuff I had to do pre-pandemic, but it all feels heavier these days. We’re all carrying more weight from stress and uncertainty, and it makes everything just that much harder.

Again, the goal isn’t to be perfect. And that’s good, because I’ve been anything but. But we’re getting through. I may not have remodeled the bathroom, and I know I’ve dropped the ball sometimes with connecting to people, but I think I took care of the basic needs for me and my family. We might not be at the top of Maslow’s pyramid, but we have the foundation.

Conclusion: I’m not where I want to be yet. But I’m trying to be okay with that. And I think so far this year, I’ve been going in the right direction.

Remember to be kind to yourselves this year. Amidst all the frustration about what we haven’t been able to do, remember to give yourself credit for what you have done.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I want to try to get through a little more of the nose-biting chapter in this book!