Jim C. Hines
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September 5, 2020 /

All Things Huge And Hideous, by G. Scott Huggins

Happy book day to my friend G. Scott Huggins! He’s releasing his fantasy novel All Things Huge And Hideous today. As you might have guessed from the title, this is a humorous veterinary magic adventure, which is in my opinion a much-neglected sub-genre.

Here’s the official summary:

Everyone says it was better in the Good Old Days. Before the Dark Lord subjugated us. Before he gave all the good land to his ogres, orcs and trolls, reducing the civilized races to serfdom and the dirty work: pig farming, sewer cleaning, veterinary medicine.

But even before that happened, things weren’t that much different for the veterinarians. Everyone cheered the heroes who rode their unicorn chargers into combat against the Dark Lord’s dragons, but no one ever remembered who treated the unicorns’ phosphine burns afterward. The only real difference is that now I’m treating the dragons. Today I have to save one’s life. Know what fewmets are? No? Then make a sacrifice of thanks right now to whatever gods you worship, because I have only a few hours to figure a way to get them flowing back out of the Dark Lord’s favorite dragon. Yeah, from the other end. And that’s just my most illustrious client.

I’ve got orcs and trolls who might eat me and dark elf barons who might sue me if their bloodhawks and chimeras don’t pull through. And that doesn’t even consider the possibility that the old hag with the basilisk might show up.

The only thing that’s gone right this evening is finding Harriet to be my veterinary assistant. She’s almost a witch, which just might save us both. If we don’t kill each other first.

This is an expansion of an earlier work by Huggins, which was a lot of fun to read.

One of my favorite parts of these stories is the veterinary details. Huggins’ wife is a veterinarian, and there’s a sense of real truth to the protagonist’s frustration with neglectful pet owners and the various challenges of keeping all these magical animals healthy.

You can read an excerpt on Huggins’ website to get a feel for the story and the humor.

September 4, 2020 /

Cool Stuff Friday

Friday is hoping to finish this revision today!*

  • Pets stealing food
  • When cats are messy eaters…
  • This week’s Buzzfeed cat and dog posts

*I’ve got some notes to go back through and address, but at this point, the plan is to get Terminal Peace to my editor next week!

August 28, 2020 /

Cool Stuff Friday

Friday would like to remind you all to be excellent to each other.

  • 150 uplifting dog posts
  • Cats are liquid
  • Animals who got stuck while eating
August 27, 2020 /

One Year

The 29th marks one year since we lost Amy to cancer. People say the first year is challenging, but I think 2020 has taken things a little too far… I’m supposed to be adjusting to the “new normal,” but how exactly is that supposed to happen when nothing is remotely normal? It’s just rude.

I still miss her. I still love her. I don’t expect either of those things to ever stop, regardless of what else happens. And she’s still a presence in my life. Not in a religious or mystical way. But we were married for 15 years, and friends for almost 15 more before that.

I know her so well I can hear her commenting on things. I can converse with her in my head, and I think I generally know what she’d say. Which is, I think, a good thing. I’ve occasionally had days where I felt overwhelmed, and I’d grumble about not knowing what to do, and sometimes I could imagine what she’d say or do, and it helped.

That’s pretty cool.

It’s been almost two years since we lived together. For the roughly nine months she was sick, she was either in hospitals or staying at her mother’s place, which was safer for her limited mobility. I still stay on my side of the bed out of habit.

A running theme with my therapist has been making sure I remember to keep living my life. Keep reaching out, keep looking for joy, keep doing things. I think I’ve been doing pretty well there, all things considered. I’ve been in an online D&D game, took a trip to the zoo with the kids, took my son to his first drive-in… We’ve also been doing video chats with Amy’s parents every week.

I don’t think there’s such a thing as being “over it,” but I’m proud of how well the kids are doing. And I think I’m doing well, overall. I’ve gotten back to work on writing, and should have Terminal Peace ready to turn in within the next week or two. I’ve been actively thinking about the future instead of being stuck in the past.

One of my biggest regrets is how much she and I took for granted. If I could change anything (aside from, you know, getting rid of the cancer), it would be to make more of an effort to cherish and take advantage of the time we had together before she got sick.

Looking back over the past year, I know I haven’t gotten everything right. I know I’ve dropped the ball sometimes. But overall, I think she’d be proud of me.

August 21, 2020 /

Cool Stuff Friday

Friday is thinking of reading from either the Janitors books or from Fable: Blood of Heroes this afternoon (1:30 pm). Something light and fun…

  • Buzzfeed’s important cat posts of the week
  • Some dog posts to go with them
  • German Shepherd puppies!
August 20, 2020 /

Virtual NASFiC Panels This Weekend

NASFiC, the North American Science Fiction Convention, was originally going to be held this weekend in Columbus. That was before 2020 got its grubby, germ-filled hands on everything. So the con has switched to an online format. Happily, if I’m reading this correctly, that means everyone will be able to attend for free.

I’ll be doing two events as part of the convention.

  • Friday, 8/21 at 1:30 p.m. Eastern Time – The Jim C. Hines Reading Hour 20-Minutes
  • Saturday, 8/22 at 6 p.m. Eastern Time – “Feminist Fables and Fairy Tales,” with Sherwood Smith (Moderator), Jennifer Blackstream, and Valerie Estelle Frankel

I’m sad to not have the chance to get together with everyone in person, but I appreciate the work the convention has done to make this happen and give us an alternate way to geek out together.

The full NASFiC Schedule is on the website.

Now I just need to figure out what the heck I should read tomorrow afternoon…

August 17, 2020 /

Win a Proof of Goblin Queen

I’m still waiting for IngramSpark to ship my proof copy of Tamora Carter: Goblin Queen. But in the meantime, I’ve got a couple of the Amazon proof copies sitting here taking up space. So…

I’ll give one copy (autographed, of course) away to a random newsletter subscriber.

I’ll also give a copy to a random Patreon supporter. This one will also be autographed, but there’s more. See, this is the copy I printed before I had the interior artwork from Leanna Crossan. To make up for that, I’ll illustrate those pages myself. It will be … well, it will probably be terrible. There’s a reason I do prose, not drawing. But I guarantee your book will be unique!

I’ll pick winners later this week, so you’ve got a few days to sign up if you’re interested.

August 14, 2020 /

Cool Stuff Friday

Friday needs a really big book deal to afford this nearby castle…

  • Cats vs. Physics
  • Black women in fantasy: photography thread
  • Distorted pics of animals through glasses
August 10, 2020 /

Updates: Goblin Queen and Terminal Peace

Let’s start with Goblin Queen. I’ll be posting this to the Kickstarter site as well.

I’d been hoping to start mailing out books this month, but that was before I dealt with IngramSpark’s customer support and printing delays.

Today I received an email response to my trouble report about being unable to upload the cover file. A report I sent in on July 29. On the bright side, I was finally able to resolve the problem myself last week. With everything uploaded, I reviewed the electronic proof, then ordered a physical proof copy.

That’s when I got a pop-up informing me that due to COVID-related staffing and other issues, printing could take 2-3 weeks, and I might not be getting my proof until near the end of August.

Assuming there are no problems, I’ll be able to put in my big order at that point, and would hopefully get the rest of my books a few weeks later.

The alternative is for me to go ahead and order through Amazon’s KDP print-on-demand service. Amazon was much easier to work with and set up. I went through three rounds of changes, and have three different physical proof copies I received during the time I was fighting with IngramSpark.

But from what I’ve been told, IngramSpark prints a slightly higher quality book than Amazon, and I’d prefer my Kickstarter supporters get the best I can give them.

Everything else is ready. I’ve got the stickers, bookmarks autographed and ready, padded envelopes, labels, and an account at Pirate Ship that will let me print media-rate mailing labels from home. All I need are the books…

#

Meanwhile, I’m hoping to turn in the manuscript for Terminal Peace to my editor by the end of the month. I’ve gotten through about 75% of this hopefully-final rewrite since early July, so I’m on track. But this part of the book has required a lot more reworking to get everything to fit, which has made for a frustrating and less productive couple of weeks.

This is part of the reason I’ve been scarce on the blog and social media and such. I know there are valid and legit reasons this book has taken me so long, but I really want to get it finished. I’m at that point where I’m close enough I can see the finish line off in the distance, which makes me want to sprint the whole way.

Unfortunately, I also need to do things like sleep and eat and all the rest. But I’m getting there.  I just need to remember not to sprint so fast I take a spill…

July 31, 2020 /

Cool Stuff Friday

Friday again? Didn’t we have one of these just last week?

  • Milo the dog and his butterfly friends
  • The Animals Being Jerks Twitter feed is a good way to escape 2020 for a while
  • Malfunctioning cats

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Out Now:

Goblin Queen Cover Art by Leanna Crossan

Tamora Carter: Goblin Queen

Amazon | B&N

Read chapter one

Twitter

Tweets by @jimchines

Blog Archives

Free Fiction

  • Stranger vs. the Malevolent Malignancy, at Podcastle
  • The Creature in Your Neighborhood at Apex Magazine
  • How Isaac Met Smudge at Literary Escapism
  • Gift of the Kites at Clarkesworld
  • Original Gangster at Fantasy Magazine
  • Goblin Lullaby (audio) at PodCastle
  • Spell of the Sparrow (audio) at PodCastle
Banner artwork by Katy Shuttleworth.



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Jim C. Hines