Family Health and Ongoing Hiatus
I’m back home for the first time in a while, and I’ve been given permission to talk more about what’s going on. Last month, my wife Amy was diagnosed with cancer — an aggressive form of lymphoma, to be specific.
Aggressive, but treatable. We’ve done the first round of chemo, and the last scans showed some tumor shrinkage, which is a good sign.
This all started with a flare-up of lower back pain. Unfortunately, Amy has chronic back pain, and we’ve had flare-ups before. So the initial doctor visits just led to more painkillers and rest. It wasn’t until I took her to the Emergency Room last month that they discovered what was going on. By then we were dealing with a blast crisis (proliferation of immature white blood cells), dehydration, some organ failures…
I can safely say that was the worst week of my life.
I’m happy to say they were able to treat the immediate health crisis. The messed-up white blood cells have been cleared out, organ function is back to normal, dehydration and malnutrition have been addressed. We’re onto focusing on the long-term treatment plan now.
There’s no prognosis or percentages here. You can find survival rates for her particular type of cancer, but she’s significantly younger than the average patient. And five-year rates are based on patients who were diagnosed at least five years ago — we have five more years of research and advances now.
She’ll still be in the hospital for a while. She’s awfully weak after everything she’s been through. She’s not quite up for visitors yet, but she’s getting closer. I’ll be heading back tonight or tomorrow. I’ll still be mostly offline, and I haven’t written a word of fiction in more than a month, which is likely to continue.
To any of our friends or family who are hearing this for the first time, I’m so sorry. We’ve tried to update people, but Amy has so many people who love her, and my brain has not been at its best. Please feel free to text or email me.
My family has been holding up okay. Everyone has come together to offer support and help out, and I’m so grateful. The kids have been amazing, each in their own way. It’s hard, and that’s going to continue for a while, but we’re all doing our best to take care of each other as well as taking care of Amy.
She’s had really good care. We’re making sure that continues. So far, the insurance side of things has gone pretty smoothly. I’m not holding my breath for that to always be the case, but I’ll deal with that when and if it goes sideways. I’ve also taken care of things like her FMLA leave from work, and applying for short-term disability. The main priority right now is helping her keep getting better.
Oh, and I know the photos might be a bit odd — what can I say. Taking pictures is one of the ways I cope with the stress. Even with a relatively old iPhone camera.
I’m not up for answering a lot of questions online/publicly, since it’s not about me. And we’re not currently looking for advice. But your love and support and encouragement are always appreciated. Thank you.
Paul Weimer
January 7, 2019 @ 12:39 pm
Oh crap, JIm. BEst wishes and thoughts for your wife and yourself.
Adam Rakunas
January 7, 2019 @ 12:39 pm
I hope treatment goes well and that her recovery is easy.
James Kilbride
January 7, 2019 @ 12:40 pm
Jim, Amy,
Good luck. I wish you both the best and can not but hope for the best outcome. May you have the support you need through this tough time.
John Hartness
January 7, 2019 @ 12:40 pm
All my best, pal. You and your family will be in my thoughts.
John Scalzi
January 7, 2019 @ 12:41 pm
Much love to you and the family, Jim.
Wendy
January 7, 2019 @ 12:41 pm
Wishing you and yours all the best.
Melissa Ann Singer
January 7, 2019 @ 12:44 pm
Sending strength and comfort for all.
DJ Martin
January 7, 2019 @ 12:44 pm
All the best to you, Amy and the family.
Ali
January 7, 2019 @ 12:45 pm
Sending lots of love. <3 Here if you need to talk or anything.
Michelle
January 7, 2019 @ 12:49 pm
**hugs** That is all. **endless hugs**
Per
January 7, 2019 @ 12:49 pm
Wishing your wife and you all the best!
Wendy S. Delmater
January 7, 2019 @ 12:50 pm
Then, if it helps at all, here’s some love. Lots of it.
Gini Koch
January 7, 2019 @ 12:50 pm
SO sorry you guys are going through this. Sending good thoughts, prayers, and many {HUGS} and all that and more for Amy to make a full and complete recovery.
Kathleen K Fuller
January 7, 2019 @ 12:51 pm
Sending best wishes for strength and healing. I’ve been dealing with my spouse’s serious illness myself so I understand your situation as much as anyone can.
Diana Pho
January 7, 2019 @ 12:52 pm
Sending warm wishes to Amy, you and your family <3
Firedrake
January 7, 2019 @ 12:52 pm
I am so sorry. Wishing your wife and family the best possible outcome.
Cynthia Wood
January 7, 2019 @ 12:53 pm
I’m so sorry Jim. We’ve been in a similar place with my husband and renal cancer. (5 years and stiil chugging as of next month.) This sucks so very much, and I wish your wife all the best for health, and happiness, and shrinkage.
Amal El-Mohtar
January 7, 2019 @ 12:53 pm
Ach, this is such a hard thing and I’m so sorry. Wishing you all strength and warmth and love.
Laura Resnick
January 7, 2019 @ 12:56 pm
Jim, I am so sorry this is happening to Amy and to your family–and so glad the immediate crisis of severe back pain, dehydration, and organ decline has been addressed and she is more comfortable now. I can scarcely imagine what all of you are going through. I take heart in the knowledge that Amy is still young and has a lot to live for, which I hope will give her body strength as she combats this terrible illness. I wish strength for you and the kids, too. Thinking of all of you.
Brad Beaulieu
January 7, 2019 @ 12:58 pm
It sounds like a crack team is helping her at the hospital. Here’s to her continued recovery and a knockout blow to the cancer. All my best to you and the whole family, Jim.
Amy Nichols
January 7, 2019 @ 12:58 pm
So sorry to hear this, Jim. I am praying for you guys.
Greg van Eekhout
January 7, 2019 @ 12:59 pm
I’ll be keeping you and your family in my thoughts, Jim.
Anton Cancre
January 7, 2019 @ 12:59 pm
Heck, dude. I feel for you and your wife and the kids. Glad you have an opportunity to concentrate on her. Do so and take care of each other.
Leah Adams
January 7, 2019 @ 1:00 pm
I’m wishing the best for Amy, you and the rest of your family.
Claudia
January 7, 2019 @ 1:01 pm
Best wishes for you and your family. Sending strength and nerves.
Julie E. Czerneda
January 7, 2019 @ 1:02 pm
Love and all good thoughts from us, Jim and family.
Sarah Wynde
January 7, 2019 @ 1:02 pm
So sorry to hear this. I wish you and your family fantastic doctors, great treatment options, and the easiest health insurance interactions possible. Also people with casseroles that you like. I hope the world’s greatest lasagna (if you like lasagna) is headed your way.
Eric James Stone
January 7, 2019 @ 1:02 pm
My best wishes for you, your wife, and your family.
Anita Buckowing
January 7, 2019 @ 1:06 pm
Thank you for the update. Keep being there with her and for her.
You all are in my thoughts.
Beth
January 7, 2019 @ 1:07 pm
Sending you best wishes and virtual hugs. If you need anything, I am here to help. Or just to listen.
Dave Crampton
January 7, 2019 @ 1:09 pm
All the love your way.
Lucy A. Snyder
January 7, 2019 @ 1:11 pm
Gary and I are wishing you all the best.
Christine Kennedy
January 7, 2019 @ 1:11 pm
Praying for you and Amy and your family. Sending much love your way.
Rosanne
January 7, 2019 @ 1:12 pm
I wish you skilled, on point medical care, complete insurance coverage, blessings and/or luck (whichever you prefer), and complete remission. Thank you for sharing with us.
Steve Buchheit
January 7, 2019 @ 1:12 pm
Fuck cancer. Glad it was caught and the organ failure has been reversed. So sorry you guys have to go through this. Also all my thoughts and best wishes for her health.
Christine Ethier
January 7, 2019 @ 1:13 pm
Wishing and praying for Amy and the rest of your family.
Avilyn
January 7, 2019 @ 1:15 pm
I’m so sorry Amy’s going through this; glad your family has support and are holding up OK. Best wishes to you all.
John Fiala
January 7, 2019 @ 1:18 pm
Sorry to hear about this – my wife struggled with leukemia for several years. Good luck and hang in there.
Amit
January 7, 2019 @ 1:18 pm
I’m so sorry to hear about this. Warm thoughts, positive vibes, and love to you and yours at this time.
Randal E Bradakis
January 7, 2019 @ 1:21 pm
Love and support from the Bradaki
Ann Leckie
January 7, 2019 @ 1:21 pm
Oh no! Thinking of you and Amy, hoping for the best.
Terri
January 7, 2019 @ 1:23 pm
Sending your family lots of hugs and kitty snuggles from Iowa.
Fonda Lee
January 7, 2019 @ 1:25 pm
I’m so sorry to hear that your family is going through this, Jim. Sending you lots of positive and healing thoughts.
Renee Sweet
January 7, 2019 @ 1:30 pm
It sounds like you aren’t, but don’t let the stats get you down. I have friends and family who have blown all the stats out of the water – a person with a strong will and a steadfast support network can accomplish miracles! Sending my best energy your way…
John Johnson
January 7, 2019 @ 1:36 pm
Wow, hope all goes well! You both are in our hearts and minds.
Patrick Samphire
January 7, 2019 @ 1:38 pm
So sorry for all of you, Jim, and particularly for Amy. What a horrible discovery. It must be incredibly hard. Thinking of all of you.
Linkmeister
January 7, 2019 @ 1:41 pm
My best wishes for Amy, for you and for the rest of the family. It’s a terrifying experience.
Lenora Rose
January 7, 2019 @ 1:42 pm
Fuck Cancer. Wishing you all the best of care for her, and all the strength you both need, and all the support for when your own is not enough and you need care too. And good wishes for the kids.
Alicia
January 7, 2019 @ 1:42 pm
What a pig of a thing. All the best for her recovery and the family holding up around her.
Lisa Shearin
January 7, 2019 @ 1:44 pm
Sending love and prayers to you, Amy, and your family. (And hugs, lots and lots of hugs.)
Madeleine Eve Robins
January 7, 2019 @ 2:00 pm
I was thinking this morning, Wonder how Jim’s doing. Wish I could send him all the good wishes, but right out of the blue, y’know: weird.
Now I can tell you how much I wish strength and healing and the best outcome for Amy, and for you and your family.
Dena A M Norton
January 7, 2019 @ 2:00 pm
Hugs, love, and all positive vibes, for Amy, for you, for the kids, and for the rest of her family and friends.
Chris Gerrib
January 7, 2019 @ 2:04 pm
I’m very sorry. You have my best wishes.
Jenna Glatzer
January 7, 2019 @ 2:04 pm
Sending love. I’m sorry you’re both going through this.
Rachel Aukes
January 7, 2019 @ 2:14 pm
Aw, hell, Jim. Hugs to you and Amy, and your family. You’re in the thoughts of many, many people who care about you.
Diana Pharaoh Francis
January 7, 2019 @ 2:18 pm
Oh shit, Jim. Many hugs for you and your wife. I’ll be thinking of you and lighting a candle for healing.
Elise Matthesen
January 7, 2019 @ 2:20 pm
Dang. Many good wishes coming your family’s way, now and ongoing.
Mary Dell
January 7, 2019 @ 2:36 pm
Oh, jeez. Sending all the good wishes to her and your whole family.
Debbie Morrow
January 7, 2019 @ 2:38 pm
I’m so very sad to learn what you and your family are having to cope with. Very best wishes for Amy and all of you.
Jim C.
January 7, 2019 @ 2:42 pm
Holy shit, that’s a lot to deal with. I sincerely hope for the very best possible outcome for you, your wife, and your family. For what it’s worth, I’ve always found that making any sort of art helps me to cope with stress, so taking photos makes sense to me.
Denise Webber
January 7, 2019 @ 2:49 pm
Dear Jim and Amy, especially Amy, sending you all my love and good healing thoughts. Thinking of your family and friends.
mattw
January 7, 2019 @ 2:53 pm
That really stinks. Keeping my fingers crossed for the best.
Janna Silverstein
January 7, 2019 @ 2:54 pm
I was afraid it was something like this. I’m sorry for the news but glad to hear things have gotten under some control. I’m sending all my best wishes and love to you both and the whole family.
Mark Terry
January 7, 2019 @ 2:58 pm
Best of everything, to you and you family.
Alma Alexander
January 7, 2019 @ 3:10 pm
I’m so sorry to hear. I hope things continue to improve for the both of you.
Denise
January 7, 2019 @ 3:14 pm
Love to you and your family, Jim. Do what you need for them and yourself, and know that we have your back.
--E
January 7, 2019 @ 3:16 pm
Oh, Jim, what a thing. Wishing you and Amy and your family the very best, and all my hopes for her to have a speedy recovery and return to doing things she loves.
Laura Watkins
January 7, 2019 @ 3:22 pm
My husband had sudden stage three colon cancer a few years ago
So I’ve been through similar terror
If there’s anything people can do just put out the word
And you just do what you need to do
The way you need to do it
Dana Beatty
January 7, 2019 @ 3:32 pm
Tons of love, hugs, & good vibes being sent to Amy, you, & the rest of the family sir. Family is ALWAYS first, just update us later.
Stacey Filak
January 7, 2019 @ 3:41 pm
Sending healing thoughts to your wife and strength to the whole family.
Patrick
January 7, 2019 @ 3:42 pm
My thoughts/prayers/postive energy/whatever you believe in is with you and your family. I really love the pictures. And I’m sorry you are having to go through this.
Cat Sittingstill
January 7, 2019 @ 4:08 pm
I’m so sorry you are having to cope with this, and my very best wishes to your wife for a speedy recovery and to you and your family for strength and peace in this difficult time.
Trevor Curtis
January 7, 2019 @ 4:16 pm
So sorry to hear. Cancer fucking sucks.
Gabrielle Smith
January 7, 2019 @ 4:31 pm
Hoping for the best for you and Amy!
Bruce Cohen (Speaker to Managers)
January 7, 2019 @ 4:39 pm
Best wishes to you and your wife. May her illness be treated easily and her life and that of your whole family return to what it was.
Amy Venlos
January 7, 2019 @ 5:06 pm
My thoughts are with Amy and you and your family. Love and light to you all, and wisdom to the health care staff.
Cheryl Martin
January 7, 2019 @ 5:11 pm
So sorry you are all dealing with this. Best wishes to your wife Amy, and for you and your children. I am happy to hear she has a great health care team, and that she is doing better. Prayers sent.
Sue E
January 7, 2019 @ 5:16 pm
Sending love and healing energy. I’m so glad your family is in good hands.
Douglas Berry
January 7, 2019 @ 5:45 pm
I’m a survivor of Stage IV-B Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. What you said is very true, each year brings us better understanding and treatments. So never lose hope.
My best to you, your wife, and your family. This is a difficult time, but love helps.
Nicole (Harris) I.
January 7, 2019 @ 5:51 pm
Praying for strength, patience and healing for Amy. So sorry she has to endure this.
antiqueight
January 7, 2019 @ 6:11 pm
Well hell. I was hoping the hiatus was caused more by the broken leg or infected bursitis style thing, or even someone having turned into a death metal fanatic. I hope the treatment all goes well, that you have people looking after you while you look after her. Generally, love n hugs.
Ralph Seibel
January 7, 2019 @ 6:41 pm
All the best for your wife, yourself and your family!
You’ll be in our thoughts and prayers, greetings from Germany!
Victoria Hobbs
January 7, 2019 @ 6:58 pm
So sorry to hear this Jim. I am sending all the love and support and encouragement in my heart to both of you.
Nancy Loomis
January 7, 2019 @ 7:03 pm
Much love and virtual hugs to all of you. Hang in there, focus on her getting better.
ReginaG
January 7, 2019 @ 8:05 pm
I fling petitions to the Universe that the statistics fall her way.
Stuart Clark
January 7, 2019 @ 8:24 pm
Sorry to hear about these difficult times. Sending good thoughts and wishes to you and your family.
Marija
January 7, 2019 @ 8:36 pm
That sucks so much – I’m really sorry that you guys are going through this. Sending good wishes and internet hugs your way.
DawnD
January 7, 2019 @ 8:46 pm
Sending best wishes to your wife and everyone who cherishes her. I hope her recovery continues to go well.
Juliette Wade
January 7, 2019 @ 9:30 pm
Jim, I’m so terribly sorry your wife and you have been through this. My heart goes out to you and to your family.
Liza Olmsted
January 7, 2019 @ 9:42 pm
Love and hugs and my wishes for good healing. It’s not easy to be a caregiver, I’m glad you’re taking care of yourself, too.
Katherine C.
January 7, 2019 @ 10:00 pm
So sorry your family is going through this. Prayers/best wishes for your wife and your family.
Kary English
January 7, 2019 @ 10:10 pm
I’m so sorry to hear this. All the best for you, Amy, and your family. We’re all pulling for her.
Peter Dodge
January 7, 2019 @ 10:23 pm
Ok, total stranger (avid reader) here. I do know what you are going through right now, however.
My wife is currently in rehab after brain surgery following a hemorrhage. Everyone keeps telling me to remember take care of myself. But no one ever says how.
Well, I’m gonna tell ya. Give yourself some time off. A night out with friends, or a movie with the kids, or anything self indulgent. Give yourself permission to breathe. To relax for a night. To treat yourself to something outrageously nice.
You will find it really helps you gain some perspective. Pressure you didn’t even know was there will ease a little and you’ll realize that hope is much more than a word, it’s an attitude. And it’s contagious.
Give yourself room to believe.
Jennifer Dian
January 7, 2019 @ 10:42 pm
Life is never easy, is it? The very best of luck and best wishes in your quest to stare down cancer. Bad jokes and swearing really do make things easier to bear.
Paul Baughman
January 7, 2019 @ 10:53 pm
Jim,
This hits home. I lost my father to lymphoma. treatment is orders of magnitude better now.
Sending some extra strength & courage your way.
Jenn Reese
January 8, 2019 @ 12:39 am
You’re all in my thoughts, Jim. <3
Loretta Stanaway
January 8, 2019 @ 3:19 am
Hope, healing, and all the help you need…
Tapati
January 8, 2019 @ 4:50 am
I am so sorry; what a shock this must have been. I’m glad to hear that Amy has expert care.
steve davidson
January 8, 2019 @ 7:03 am
Jim,
I’ve been through this. If there’s anything I can do, just let me know.
Sharon H.
January 8, 2019 @ 7:07 am
Love and strength and the very best of everything to all of you. You bring so much to so many; May good karma prevail. Xoxoxo