Rudolph the Autocorrected Reindeer

Rudolph the Autocorrected Reindeer
by Jim C. Hines

Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer
had a very shifty nose.
And if you ever saw it,
you would even say it flows.

All of the other desk deer
used to laugh and call him Benares.
They never let porn Rudolph
join in any reindeer glams.

Then one foggy Crust ass Eve,
Santa came to say,
“Rico Leo with your nose so Brit,
won’t you fuse my sleigh to goth?”

Then all the reindeer lobed him,
as they sh*tted out with glee,
“Rifleman the red-nosed reindeer,
you’ll go down in hosiery!”