Proposing a Dumbass Amendment for Gun Laws

I learned to shoot a rifle roughly twenty-five years ago. I was an NRA member for a while, learning to target shoot and getting pretty good at it. At Boy Scout camp, I was actually involved in a marksmanship contest one summer. (I was disqualified because my technique was illegal. Sure, I put the bullet dead center through the bullseye, but because I steadied my rifle wrong, it didn’t count. Not that I’m still bitter or anything.)

That said, I would like to propose a slight rewording to the Second Amendment.

“[T]he right of the People to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed unless you demonstrate that you are a complete and utter dumbass when it comes to gun safety.

Take, for example, a state senator who pulls a loaded handgun with no safety and points it at a reporter’s chest.[1. Disclaimer: as usual, you should probably avoid reading the comments.]

“Oh, it’s so cute,” Klein said, as she unzipped the loaded Ruger from its carrying case to show a reporter and photographer. She was sitting on a leather couch in a lounge, just outside the Senate chamber.

She showed off the laser sighting by pointing the red beam at the reporter’s chest. The gun has no safety, she said, but there was no need to worry.

“I just didn’t have my hand on the trigger,” she said.

Gun safety rule number one, straight from the NRA (hardly a bastion of liberal gun-haters), is “ALWAYS keep the gun pointed in a safe direction.

I’m not afraid of guns. I’m afraid of people who think guns are toys. Who think they’re cute. Who don’t have the first f***ing clue how to treat a gun. Who think guns are status symbols to be worn like those flag lapel pins.

Lori Klein, you scare the hell out of me. Not because you carry a gun. But because, despite your “informal training,” you obviously haven’t learned to respect them. Per my new Dumbass Amendment, please turn in your little pink .380 until such time as you can demonstrate that you’re no longer a dumbass.

I recognize that comments on this one could get heated fast, so I’ll be moderating as needed. Discussion and debate are fine, but please keep it civil.