Christmas Pose-Off: Lights vs. Tights

It began with a simple but unconventional fundraiser: the more people donated to support the Aicardi Syndrome Foundation, the more I would attempt to contort my body into the poses of various book covers, hoping to better illustrate some of the inherent sexism and absurdity of many of these poses. As a special bonus, I offered to challenge award-winning author John Scalzi to a pose-off if we reached certain goals.

We achieved the first goal in a single day, and a mighty battle was fought. Groin muscles were stretched to their very limits. But in the end, with more than 6500 votes cast, I EMERGED VICTORIOUS! Thank you, internet!

We quickly reached the second pose-off goal, and John challenged me to a rematch. But this time, the stakes were higher. This time, we would attempt to match the cover of Only Superhuman … and we would do so in the Christmas regalia of our choice!

Both of us grabbed our Nerf guns, decorated ourselves with whatever we had available, and prepared to flash our oh-so-pale bellies at the world.

As before, my thanks to my wife Amy for helping with the photoshoot and her patience while we tried various tricks to approximate the cover art (including a rather painful shot with my head and shoulders hanging off one end of the piano bench.)

It’s time for the rematch you’ve all been waiting for. It’s time to make (or break) your holiday spirit! It’s time for Hines vs. Scalzi: The Reposinating!

Anyone want to buy a slightly used pair of red tights?

Now it was Scalzi’s turn to avenge his CRUSHING AND HUMILIATING defeat from the last round. While I’m rather pleased with my bright red tights, I have to admit that Scalzi’s pose is far more … electric than my own.

I love how relaxed John looks here, like he was just chilling around the house in a Santa hat and lights, showing off his belly button and target shooting with the old Nerf gun.

Before we get to the voting, please remember we’re doing this for three reasons.

  1. We have no shame when it comes to entertaining and amusing the masses.
  2. To draw attention and generate discussion about sexism in cover art and the genre in general.
  3. To raise money for a very good cause.

If you’ve enjoyed the poses so far — and yes, I recognize that “enjoy” may not be the right word here — please consider donating to the Aicardi Syndrome Foundation. Details are available here.

My thanks again for John’s help, and for being such a good sport with all this. And now, internet, it’s time to make your voice heard! (The voting script doesn’t seem to work on LJ and other mirrors, so if you’re reading this elsewhere, you’ll need to click through to to vote.)