Book Day and Blown Deadline
The UK mass market edition of Libriomancer is out today!
The folks at Del Rey UK have been absolutely lovely to work with, and I continue to be thrilled that one of my series finally has a UK edition.
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Now on to the more aggravating part. I received a very polite email earlier this week from an anthology editor, asking if I was still planning to contribute a story … seeing as how the deadline was March 1.
And there was much swearing on my part. I had committed to this a year ago, and I knew this anthology was on my list of things to write, but I had somehow gotten it in my head that the deadline was later this summer. (I think I managed to mix it up with another deadline for an anthology that has now been cancelled.)
Regardless, the editor was kind enough to give me until the end of this month to get something written and turned in.
Looking back a few days later, it was interesting to see how this screw-up on my part crashed head-on into the Depression. Being a writer is a pretty core part of my identity, and one of the things I pride myself on is making my deadlines. There’s a line in Friends where Joey snaps, “Joey doesn’t share food!”
Well, “Jim doesn’t blow deadlines!”
Between feeling a bit stressed already with the novel-writing schedule and the realization that I’d messed up, my mood for the day went down like a level 2 thief who lost initiative against a Beholder. The fact that I had also gotten stuck on the novel just made it worse. Look — two different sources of writing stress at once! Oh, joy!
The up side is that I recognized what was happening, and I knew — intellectually — that I was overreacting. Not that I’m okay with blowing deadlines, but it wasn’t the end of the world, and the editor was very cool about it. It wasn’t enough to drag myself out of that slump, but I think it kept me from getting as deeply bogged down by it as I would have a few years back.
I’m not asking for comfort here. I know I’m far from the only writer to ever miss a deadline. I know it’s unreasonable and unfair and egotistical to expect perfection from myself when I wouldn’t dream of holding anyone else to that kind of standard. And I know the best thing to do at this point is let it go and start working on the story.
Which, for the most part, I think I’ve been able to do. It took several days, but I sorted out the novel chapter I was stuck on, and I started brainstorming story ideas for the anthology. I added the new deadline to my To Do List in HabitRPG. And I woke up this morning without the ghost of that Beholder following me around, zapping me with its eyestalk-beams of, “OMG I suck!!!”
It’s still hitting me with various minor eyestalk-beams of life stress, but I’ve got the hit points and saving throws to deal with those. And I’m back in a space where I can enjoy the fact that the new edition of my book is coming out, and people are talking about it and saying mostly good things.
D. D. Webb
March 6, 2014 @ 10:34 am
I know that feeling; the depressive brain is a traitorous beastie. For my money, seeing its tricks coming and maneuvering to counter them is the definition of dealing successfully with it. Props.
Stephen Leigh
March 6, 2014 @ 11:11 am
I know the feeling, Jim. Whack the Beholder with your vorpal sword of Writerly Awesomeness. Snicker-snack!
Teresa
March 6, 2014 @ 11:46 am
Stephen said, “I know the feeling, Jim. Whack the Beholder with your vorpal sword of Writerly Awesomeness. Spider-snack!”
Fixed that for you. 🙂
Jim, there’s a quote a I keep at my work desk, that I’d like to share with you. I’m not sure of the source:
“Being challenged in life is inevitable. Being defeated, is optional.”
Best,
Teresa
Jim C. Hines
March 6, 2014 @ 1:12 pm
That’s my problem. I left my Vorpal Sword of Writerly Awesomeness in my other jacket!
Patti L.
March 6, 2014 @ 1:21 pm
Then sic the fire-spider on the Beholder. Depending on the theme of the anthology… yes. That might work.
Carpe Librarium
March 6, 2014 @ 4:28 pm
Well, you may have missed a deadline, but you missed it extremely well.
An adventure from Smudge’s perspective?
Holmelund
March 7, 2014 @ 2:37 am
“Jim doesn’t blow deadlines!”
Look at it like this: Perhaps the deadline really needed a good blow 😉
Nicole J. LeBoeuf-Little
March 7, 2014 @ 3:57 am
“I know it’s unreasonable and unfair and egotistical to expect perfection from myself when I wouldn’t dream of holding anyone else to that kind of standard.”
That’s one of depression’s favorite heads-i-win, tails-u-lose games: Holding one to impossibly high standards so that it can cite one’s failure as evidence that one is worthless and will never succeed. The little kick-when-you’re-down of “What were you doing expecting perfection in the first place, you raging egomaniac you?” is just a bonus. Depression is a resourceful monster; it doesn’t neglect a single weapon in its arsenal, and it improvises new ones all the time.
I tripped over something like this as part of using HabitRPG today. (Not the app’s fault, of course.) It was like, “Here are the things you have to do to be PERFECT. You failed at the very first one. You suck and should not even bother trying anymore. Go back to bed and stay there.”
Hopefully tomorrow I will remember how I came back from that slump by midafternoon and made all my dailies (“A perfect day!”), despite starting off the day by clicking a Bad Habit Minus Sign. Hopefully I’ll file that away as evidence that one mistake is not the same as WORTHLESS, and think of that next time I’m tempted to despair at the first mistep.
Best wishes for the story, Jim. I look forward to reading it when the anthology is out.
(All hail the Vorpal Sword of Writerly Awesomeness!)
Jim C. Hines
March 7, 2014 @ 7:58 am
The first day I tried HabitRPG, I lost hit points because I hadn’t removed the default daily items, and didn’t get them all done. It took a day or two to get used to it and figure out how to better customize the thing.
Maybe one of your dailies should be to remind yourself that you’re AWESOME!
celli
March 7, 2014 @ 9:58 am
Teresa, that’s a great quote! I’ve got a dry erase wall in my cube that I put quotes like that one and I think there’s space. 🙂
Jim, I didn’t so much blow a deadline this week as much as blow it UP. Huge mess. But one of my other cube quotes is “Courage is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm” (Churchill) and I’m trying to fend off my brainweasels with it.
Em
March 7, 2014 @ 11:54 pm
I think I’ve already failed at HabitRPG – I can’t think of a single achievable habit that would work every day.
Grr.
Nicole J. LeBoeuf-Little
March 18, 2014 @ 10:43 am
That sounds like a fabulous idea. Thank you, Jim!