September Search Queries
Because I was
bored curious, I took a look at the search queries that brought people to my website over the past month. There were the obvious searches for my name and my writing, along with the cover poses. But there were plenty of more interesting results, too…
- “Sex cartoon” was in the top five queries for the month. I’m guessing most of these folks were rather disappointed to land on this sexual harassment comic.
- “Sex c” was also in the top ten. Yeah … sex c and I know it!
- “Form sex” – Not quite sure what that means.
- “Sex carton” makes me think of Merry and Pippin, with Pippin asking, “It comes in cartons?”
- “enchanted alethea kontis pdf” – Great book. You can pick it up at Amazon, B&N, Mysterious Galaxy or your local independent bookstore.
- “nude erotic men pose with semi dressed women” – I’m starting to sense a theme here.
- “adam jamie fanfiction mythbuster” – Adding this to my To Do List.
- “belly button shoot with nerf bullets” – Um … I got nothing.
- “how racist people look when they take a dump” – Until now, this question had never once crossed my mind, and I WAS PERFECTLY HAPPY THAT WAY!
- “jim hines diet and workout” – For next year’s fundraiser, I’m makin’ a workout video! We’ll call it Geekercise!
- “phineas and ferb sex jokes” – Aren’t they a little young to be making that kind of joke?
- “scalzi hugo travesty” – This just makes me giggle.
- “serial killer hines” – HOW DID THEY FIND OUT???
September 26, 2013 @ 9:35 am
Most authors are serial killers. Not every one of them achieves the mastery of a G.R.R. Martin, but even hobby authors usually manage to kill a few characters per book. Comes with the job i think…
September 26, 2013 @ 10:29 am
I’m…not surprised. I had search queries on dragon porn for my fantasy comic. That serial killer one had me laugh though.
September 26, 2013 @ 10:47 am
One of my more obscure hobbies is trying to find bizarre search queries that will lead to my friends’ websites, so that said queries will turn up in their analytics.
Things like “Is $Friend the prettiest princess in all the land” or “Is $Friend the last airbender” are surprisingly effective, with fandom people. Sadly, “Is $friend building a death ray in space” came up empty.
I’ve never tried this on your site. But now I just might.
September 26, 2013 @ 12:31 pm
I so wish I could see their expression when they type in “sex c” and click on your cover poses.
And I’m guessing those were kids trying to find out if one can shoot a Nerf bullet and have it stick in a friend’s belly button. Which, come to think of it, would be perfect for some Mythbusters fan fiction.
Daniel D. Webb
September 26, 2013 @ 1:00 pm
Despite the conventional wisdom, the internet is only about 10% porn by volume (disclaimer: statistic from Cracked.com, use with discretion), but suddenly I find myself curious what proportion of search engine queries are unf-related.
In fairness to your mysterious visitors, while I think “travesty” is a laughably strong term, I was very disappointed by [i]Redshirts[/i] myself, and mystified by its nomination. It’s still amusing that such sentiments would link here, though. From reading your blog for a few years that’s one I would not have anticipated.
September 26, 2013 @ 2:15 pm
I want to read your Mythbusters fanfiction. It will be amazing.
September 26, 2013 @ 3:28 pm
I’m pretty sure the search analytics are mostly false data. That my blog might turn up in various weird or sexually themed searches for one strange reason or another I buy. But that it’s in the first page or two of the search read-out where people are likely to click on it? No. That the person searching for that subject then clicked on my site as part of that search when it came up? No, not unless it was some sort of bot searcher. I think a lot of the time the search analytics they give us are not from people hitting our sites but various random or common search terms that just get plucked from Google or whatever. Either that, or the search engines are receiving confusing signals from the Tardis.
September 26, 2013 @ 7:33 pm
I’d like to know where one CAN find “nude erotic men pose with semi dressed women”.
For a friend, of course.
September 26, 2013 @ 9:39 pm
I fear what the TPS report cover pages will do with the memos once form sex becomes a thing.
September 26, 2013 @ 9:56 pm
The ‘Form Sex’ search made me think of this excellent post on The Pervocracy: http://pervocracy.blogspot.com.au/2012/01/rescripting-sex.html
September 27, 2013 @ 3:59 am
You will post this Mythbusters fanfic, right? They seem to have stopped production and I need a fix.
September 27, 2013 @ 9:38 am
already forgotten? your x-mas pose-off with scalzi is clearly the nerf and belly button search! that’s the easy one! 😀