Foot, Meet Mouth
I’m working on a follow-up to yesterday’s blog post, but I was at a booksigning last night and didn’t get home until 10, meaning I haven’t had time to finish it.
So instead, I figured I’d share an embarrassing story from the signing.
I had a great time. Nicola’s Books brought in me, Sarah Zettel, and Jacqueline Carey. We chatted for about an hour about everything from e-books to outlines to keeping characters on a short leash. (Some of us more literally than others…) There was discussion and banter and laughing, and as far as I could tell, a good time was had by all.
Then it was booksigning time. Sarah and I watched the crowd swarm to Jacqueline, but there was some spillover to us as well. Yay! I signed a respectable number of books, and then toward the end, two women came up to me with their books to be signed. One was wearing a “Double Tap” Zombieland T-shirt. I glanced at the shirt, smiled, and said, “Nice!”
I opened up the first book, then froze as I realized exactly what I had just said while looking at this woman’s chest.
“Oh, crap. I’m sorry, I just realized how slimy that sounded!”
Did you know that baldness means your entire scalp blushes? I’m told I turned a quite lovely shade of red.
They were both very understanding, and there was much laughter at my expense, which was fine. But it’s been a long time since I’ve jammed my foot that far down my throat…
Jordan Lapp
July 27, 2011 @ 9:38 am
Totally would have done the same thing, except it probably wouldn’t have occurred to me that it was inappropriate until she slapped me.
Kathryn (UnravThreads)
July 27, 2011 @ 9:54 am
Jim “The Accidental Misogonyst” Hines, mayhaps? :p
It’s great that the lady in question didn’t slap you, though. It was an honest misunderstanding.
Jim C. Hines
July 27, 2011 @ 9:57 am
I’m told she knew I was talking about her shirt. I was also reassured that I don’t give off slimy vibes.
But I have made a mental note to be more specific in my compliments!
Steve Buchheit
July 27, 2011 @ 10:16 am
Hope you had your foot sauce ready. Feet with sauce are so much better than feet neat.
Anita K.
July 27, 2011 @ 10:27 am
Good heavens, a lineup of authors like that… just about enough to make me consider moving 700 something odd miles to Michigan. I’ve never heard of anything that splendid around Kansas City. 🙁
…and even if you did embarass yourself first, the fact that you did notice how “slimy” it could have come across, and chose to apologize instead of let it slide, is exactly why you fial to “give off slimy vibes.”
snapes_angel
July 27, 2011 @ 11:31 am
Usually, given the context, it would be about the shirt. XD
mtlawson
July 27, 2011 @ 2:06 pm
Allow me an amusing chuckle.
Or a guffaw. I kind of need a guffaw right now.
As for LJ, you know, I was going to make a snide comment along the lines of those ‘In Soviet Russia’ ones, but that probably hits a little too close to home. Why the Russian Mob can’t go after Facebook for a change is beyond me.
Jim C. Hines
July 27, 2011 @ 2:10 pm
Allow? Sharing the chuckles was the whole point of posting this! 🙂
snapes_angel
July 27, 2011 @ 2:13 pm
You know what happens when I don’t get my LJ fix. I get odd.
Anton Gully
July 27, 2011 @ 4:50 pm
…or she considered you harmless.
snapes_angel
July 27, 2011 @ 4:54 pm
Or mostly harmless.
Ali
July 27, 2011 @ 5:23 pm
Oh, that made me chuckle. Thank you for the laugh. 🙂
Birdy Diamond, Roving Robin & Paranormal Diva
July 27, 2011 @ 7:12 pm
Nope, no slimy vibes. 🙂
Hope today went well enough.
It sucks having to work tired.
Thank you for taking the time to come & talk to us peeps last night & for your kind words & listening ear. Very appreciated. (Btw, decided I will save for convention reading during ‘Conclave’. Good incentive for progress! :-D)
Meanwhile, will eagerly await this ‘Kitemaster’ of which you spoke! :>
More Jim Hines goodness! Yay! 🙂
Birdy Diamond, Roving Robin & Paranormal Diva
July 27, 2011 @ 7:18 pm
Speaking of chuckles, while I didn’t see the need for the acute embarrassment, which is what let it be funny, it was rather amusing watching the gyrations of you hoping that you could just vanish for a few.
Especially since hiding under tables in such moments is a bit of an in-joke around my house.
Is all good. :>
Jim C. Hines
July 27, 2011 @ 7:47 pm
Today went surprisingly well, thank you. For some reason, lack of sleep left me in a better mood than usual. Though I’m definitely running out of fuel now…
You can see a few posts about Kitemaster at http://www.jimchines.com/tag/kitemaster/ if you’re curious. The e-book should be out on or around August 15.
I had a really good time last night. And I hope things go well for you and your husband!
Mjit RaindancerStahl
July 28, 2011 @ 6:46 pm
Not to self: acquire “Double Tap” t-shirt, slit neckline.
David Y
July 28, 2011 @ 9:59 pm
and I haven’t the faintest idea what the t-shirt meant, but it sounds slimy already
Jim C. Hines
July 28, 2011 @ 10:35 pm
Double Tap refers to shooting the zombie twice to make sure it stays down.
Terry Wallace
July 29, 2011 @ 9:10 am
Reminds me of the time I noticed a young lady with an interesting logo on her t-shirt. It was at a science fiction convention, and the logo was quite complex. She was shorter than I, so I bent down and peered at it in intense concentration.In a second or two, I realized she was really uncomfortable, and insulted. Dense me, it took several seconds for me to understand why. I hastily explained what I was about; she laughed and decoded the logo for me, although I think she was still a little suspicious.
Birdy Diamond, Roving Robin & Paranormal Diva
July 29, 2011 @ 6:24 pm
Yay! 🙂 Glad things went well both then & the next day. 🙂 Fwiw, when I got home, I sent some good thoughts your way for safe journeys & easy working the next day. Figure can’t hurt, might help, ya know? 🙂
Kyool! Will there be some sort of copy for those of us who are firmly in the non-reader-owning camp? 🙂
Thank you so much! 🙂 I’m only replying now, but I’ve been coming back again and again to this comment for the warm fuzzy factor.
I know it was only the kindness of one human being for another, but it means a lot just the same. 🙂
Thank you! 🙂
Best of Fortune w/your carpet, etc! 🙂
heathere3
July 31, 2011 @ 7:37 pm
As a rather busty woman who goes to cons, and loves to wear fun, unique shirts, I try to always take such things as a compliment on my shirt. I’ve had similar reactions to Jim’s from people who realized I may have misinterpreted their actions, but with one glaring exception (VERY quickly dealt with), it’s always been the shirt. In the first place, if (rhetorical) you are a sleaze, you’re probably not going to see anything wrong with your behaviour. And secondly, if you’re that much of a sleaze, I PROMISE you’ll be dealt with appropriately!
Amy
August 3, 2011 @ 3:41 pm
I was out of state that week, else I’d have been there. I have a particular genius for that kind of foot in mouth thing myself — a few years ago I was at ConBust, Smith College’s sci-fi convention, and there was a woman in skin-tight patent leather pants. All I could think about was how difficult an article of clothing like that must be to put on, so I asked her, “Is it difficult to get into your pants?”
Her immediate response, “No, not really.”
At that point I realized what I’d said and spent the next several minutes apologizing — thank god she was amused!
Jim C. Hines
August 3, 2011 @ 3:50 pm
Okay, I think that tops my story. Thank you for sharing it. I am much amused 🙂