Taunting the Internets

Two quick reminders first:

1. BSC Review will be giving away a set of Goblin Quest miniatures on June 29.  Enter now!  You know you want ’em.

2. I’m giving away a copy of Stepsister over at SF Novelists.

Dear Anton Strout – I seem to have sold a werejaguar story. With zombies in it (sort of). You wish you were as cool as me.

Dear John Scalzi – Cherry Coke Zero is far superior to regular old Coke Zero.

Dear Catherine Shaffer – Didn’t I ever tell you I was polycatherous?

Dear Alethea Kontis – <Dr. Drakken>You think your feet are all that, but they’re not!</Dr. Drakken>

Dear Cory Doctorow – Information does not want to be free.  Information wants to be bound, gagged, and spanked hard.

Dear Robert – Hey look, I found you some legs!

Dear Wil Wheaton – I know your secret.  I know why you keep missing Penguicon, and why Amazon still won’t ship me my copy of Just a Geek after three freaking months.  “Wil Wheaton” is just a Pixar-produced computer animation!

Dear Elizabeth Bear – Actually, never mind.  I’ve seen those climbing muscles.  You could kill me with your toes.  No taunt for you!

Dear Paul Abbamondi – Don’t think I’ve forgotten.  Your time is coming, goblin-hater!

Dear Random Person who’s feeling left out because you didn’t get a taunt – Maybe that omission is the taunt!  Ha!  Bow before my meta-taunting skills!