I kinda want to print the line “depression wants you to read the comments” and tape it to my monitor.
Sunfell March 24, 2015 @ 9:53 am
Thanks for this.
Depression also leaches the color from the room, and the sparkle from sound. I attack mine with large doses of dance music- chill and House, mostly. I think the bass drives it out of the room. I need a bigger subwoofer.
Josh Jasper March 24, 2015 @ 10:10 am
Depression blames you for not overcoming it.
Beth Wheeler March 24, 2015 @ 10:38 am
Depression makes you feel invisible.
Thanks — powerful and true words on a day when I’m having more depression than most.
Paul March 24, 2015 @ 10:48 am
Yes. Depression sucks and it’s absolutely no good at it.
Pat Munson-Siter March 24, 2015 @ 11:19 am
Sigh. Too true to be good. Especially when you are already dealing with problems you have little control over.
Thank you for this. I struggle with depression a little bit – less than many, but enough that I recognized everything on this list. “Depression lies” is something I have to tell myself, over and over again on the bad days. So it helps to hear all this coming from somebody else too.
Luis March 24, 2015 @ 12:55 pm
Depression makes you feel you are not good enough
Terry Hickman March 24, 2015 @ 12:56 pm
Thanks for this, Jim. Here is a video I found helps some – sometimes even heads it off. Tim Minchin: “Not Perfect.”
These dance around something I’ve had come up with a lot of other depression sufferers–and specifically their spouses–which is that whatever you think and believe while depressed is absolutely true…in your own head. A friend’s husband said of his wife in a deep depression, “She can’t see how bad she’s getting.” And my answer to that is: Because her reality is in her head, not in your perceptions. ‘Bad’ is relative in that you have to be able to see and distinguish a realistic ‘good.’ You and I both know that it’s perfectly true and realistic to say I’ll never be a pop star, but in a depression, I also ‘know’ it’s true and realistic that I’ll never get better, I’ll never not feel like this. Depression takes away my ability to see the difference.
Lynn Flewelling March 24, 2015 @ 1:52 pm
I know the monster well, Jim. It can make you see life and people through the wrong end of the telescope and do a lot of damage. It’s insidious, creeping up over a period of time until suddenly I can’t get off the couch. What it is NOT is a character defect, and if the well intentioned “take a walk” “get some fresh air” “oh, everyone gets down sometimes” “why don’t you meditate/eat better/drink more water” etc wears thin, and worse yet, just makes you feel worse, then it’s time to consider getting some informed help. Happy to talk in private if it would help. 🙂
The first three alone were enough to bring tears, but the one that most resonated is “depression wants you to think that you’re the only one.” Yes, it always does. Thank you for reminding me that I’m not alone. You’re not alone, either.
Thanks, Lynn. I’ve been talking to a therapist about this stuff for several years now. Overall, I’m doing a lot better these days, but there are still times when it waits for the right moment to pounce, you know?
When I’m bad, I wear my Bloggess “Furiously Happy” necklace. It’s a physical reminder that depression is an f’ing liar.
Lars March 24, 2015 @ 6:22 pm
Depression tells you to take a quick break with your addictive smartphone.
Depression tells you it’s not worth the bother.
Depression tells you somebody has done it better already.
Depression tells you that your failures are your own fault while your successes are just luck.
Depression tells you you don’t really need to do it now.
Ian Osmond March 24, 2015 @ 6:34 pm
Depression systematically attacks and destroys all the tools you need to fight depression, before you even know it’s there.
Morgan Brilliant March 24, 2015 @ 6:49 pm
Yes.
And depression says you can’t be depressed because you’re taking your meds.
A. Pendragyn March 24, 2015 @ 8:37 pm
A definition of “FINE” – F@cked up, Insecure, Neurotic and Emotional. Sometimes it helps when an ally knows to ask, are you fine or FINE fine? Because depression doesn’t want you to embarrass yourself by asking for support.
I want to make these up all pretty and frame them and put them all over the house to remind myself of these truths. Or cross stitch if I’m feeling really fancy.
Danielle F. March 24, 2015 @ 11:44 pm
Depression reminds you you’re an impostor.
Depression forces you to be an actor.
Depression watches you go through the motions.
Depression is the familiar enemy.
Depression reminds you it’s not the enemy; the enemy is yourself.
Depression shows you news articles on over-medicated Americans.
Depression is a siren, luring you to the rocks.
Depression can suck it big time.
Amanda Elam March 25, 2015 @ 10:11 am
Depression is made to measure, there is always one to fit you!
SorchaRei March 25, 2015 @ 10:21 am
Depression convinces you that depression is a moral failing, not an illness, and thus your fault for not being a decent human being.
Beth Wheeler March 25, 2015 @ 11:26 am
And another way to think about it — depression is an altered state of consciousness. It is as far from a “normal” headspace as walking and talking in your sleep. The logic of depression isn’t logic, and for that reason it is not amenable to being talked away.
Jeff March 25, 2015 @ 6:06 pm
Depression can also be a catalyst for change. Many major changes in a persons life are accompanied with some depression. Depression can be an indicator of problems with society. Depression can inspire creativity. The glass is half full…
McMullen March 25, 2015 @ 6:25 pm
Depression doesn’t lie. Depression doesn’t have a mind. It is part of consciousness. Depression merely tells you that your inner self and your outer self are not at peace. Listen to your inner self and make it your outer self.
For the record, nobody here has asked for advice from people who haven’t been there. Thanks.
McMullen March 25, 2015 @ 7:44 pm
Trust me, your not the only one with depression. And not everybody who is depressed is hopeless. Nobody asked you for your thoughts either. You simply stated them as I am doing now. I’m not giving advice. I’m simply stating my view (an opinion) and I am open to other views or I would not have commented. Thanks
You might have noticed that your next follow-up comment hasn’t appeared. That’s because when I say “go away,” it doesn’t mean, “Please come back and leave another defensive, condescending comment that completely misses the point.” It means you’re done here.
Not because anyone is offended by your opinion, but because you’re proving yourself a repeat violator of Wheaton’s Law.
That last line, yea so much that one too. Anxiety does the same thing (You go outside and meet people all the time, what social anxiety??) and then the two get together and form a chorus line.
Anyway, no words of wisdom from me, just *virtual hugs* for everyone reading this list and nodding along and especially to Jim. Depression can go screw a bag of cacti.
Ktbenbrook March 26, 2015 @ 4:49 am
Depression wants you to come back, after you leave it behind. It whispers how it wasn’t so bad and to come back to the familiar and stop needlessly struggling. It wants to hug you and whisper lies, telling you that you belong in the dark pit.
[…] rant list has been brought to you by a few comments on this blog post, and by observations about the internet in general. Before jumping in to immediately offer advice […]
Katherine Lopez March 26, 2015 @ 11:18 am
“Listen to your inner self and make it your outer self.” I don’t even know what this means, in this or any other context.
Morgan Brilliant March 26, 2015 @ 2:27 pm
Given the nature of the beast, I find the idea frightening.
Denise March 26, 2015 @ 2:34 pm
Jim, thank you for reminding me, today especially, that I am not alone, and that depression lies. I really needed that today.
Stephanie Whelan March 26, 2015 @ 2:41 pm
Went back and read this today. Had one of my mornings where I woke up despairing it was morning. And yeah–there it is.
The first two on the list: “Depression lurks in a corner. Depression waits for an opening.” Those are the two facts that have me living in daily terror. The question of when it will hit is always in the back of my mind. And…get this…I just realized it’s been FIVE YEARS since I’ve had an episode. Five years! And I am still afraid, because it’s still there and always will be.
Morgan Brilliant March 26, 2015 @ 5:42 pm
First, and I apologize if this is offensive in some way, congratulations on your remission.
Second, and this is something that goes with all kinds of invisible illnesses, don’t be afraid to enjoy the good days. It’s hard sometimes. These are days when depression says you can’t be sick. These are days when some people tell you that you can’t be sick.
And depression wants me to think I’m weak too. It’s been telling me that a lot lately. But today I let myself remember (again and again) that I’ve survived this far despite all its attempts to take me down.
Depression can f*ck off.
Tapati March 26, 2015 @ 9:37 pm
Depression is calling from inside the house.
Morgan Brilliant March 27, 2015 @ 1:01 pm
And I’m realizing that the second paragraph might come off as flippant. It’s not meant that way, and I apologize if it does.
Tammie March 27, 2015 @ 8:18 pm
Everyone suffering from depression, please have your vitmin d levels checked.
Persnickety March 28, 2015 @ 5:35 am
Depression hides in a dark alley, waiting to mug your happy moments.
Depression is a spectator at the pain Olympics.- it manifests in different ways in people and it is all to easy to compare those.
Paul Weimer (@PrinceJvstin)
March 24, 2015 @ 8:53 am
Thanks for sharing, this, Jim.
Sean Cummings
March 24, 2015 @ 9:14 am
Depression isn’t wrong or right. It just is.
Jayle Enn
March 24, 2015 @ 9:25 am
Yes.
And yes, thank you.
Holmelund
March 24, 2015 @ 9:26 am
Depression sucks!
Monica
March 24, 2015 @ 9:34 am
Wow!
Annalee
March 24, 2015 @ 9:49 am
Depression lies.
Like a busted watch or a rug on the floor.
I kinda want to print the line “depression wants you to read the comments” and tape it to my monitor.
Sunfell
March 24, 2015 @ 9:53 am
Thanks for this.
Depression also leaches the color from the room, and the sparkle from sound. I attack mine with large doses of dance music- chill and House, mostly. I think the bass drives it out of the room. I need a bigger subwoofer.
Josh Jasper
March 24, 2015 @ 10:10 am
Depression blames you for not overcoming it.
Beth Wheeler
March 24, 2015 @ 10:38 am
Depression makes you feel invisible.
Thanks — powerful and true words on a day when I’m having more depression than most.
Paul
March 24, 2015 @ 10:48 am
Yes. Depression sucks and it’s absolutely no good at it.
Pat Munson-Siter
March 24, 2015 @ 11:19 am
Sigh. Too true to be good. Especially when you are already dealing with problems you have little control over.
Matthew Thyer
March 24, 2015 @ 12:24 pm
I have a picture frame for that, hung above my desk.
Mason T. Matchak
March 24, 2015 @ 12:52 pm
Thank you for this. I struggle with depression a little bit – less than many, but enough that I recognized everything on this list. “Depression lies” is something I have to tell myself, over and over again on the bad days. So it helps to hear all this coming from somebody else too.
Luis
March 24, 2015 @ 12:55 pm
Depression makes you feel you are not good enough
Terry Hickman
March 24, 2015 @ 12:56 pm
Thanks for this, Jim. Here is a video I found helps some – sometimes even heads it off. Tim Minchin: “Not Perfect.”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dg3PberzvXo
Sorry; I don’t know how to do a proper link here, nor an embed.
Leah Petersen
March 24, 2015 @ 1:23 pm
YOU’RE IN THE COMMENTS!!! 😉
Leah Petersen
March 24, 2015 @ 1:30 pm
These dance around something I’ve had come up with a lot of other depression sufferers–and specifically their spouses–which is that whatever you think and believe while depressed is absolutely true…in your own head. A friend’s husband said of his wife in a deep depression, “She can’t see how bad she’s getting.” And my answer to that is: Because her reality is in her head, not in your perceptions. ‘Bad’ is relative in that you have to be able to see and distinguish a realistic ‘good.’ You and I both know that it’s perfectly true and realistic to say I’ll never be a pop star, but in a depression, I also ‘know’ it’s true and realistic that I’ll never get better, I’ll never not feel like this. Depression takes away my ability to see the difference.
Lynn Flewelling
March 24, 2015 @ 1:52 pm
I know the monster well, Jim. It can make you see life and people through the wrong end of the telescope and do a lot of damage. It’s insidious, creeping up over a period of time until suddenly I can’t get off the couch. What it is NOT is a character defect, and if the well intentioned “take a walk” “get some fresh air” “oh, everyone gets down sometimes” “why don’t you meditate/eat better/drink more water” etc wears thin, and worse yet, just makes you feel worse, then it’s time to consider getting some informed help. Happy to talk in private if it would help. 🙂
Sarah Wynde
March 24, 2015 @ 2:06 pm
The first three alone were enough to bring tears, but the one that most resonated is “depression wants you to think that you’re the only one.” Yes, it always does. Thank you for reminding me that I’m not alone. You’re not alone, either.
Angelia Sparrow
March 24, 2015 @ 2:23 pm
Depression Lies.
Except when it can tell the truth to the most devastating effect.
Depression hurts. Every ache, every pain, every twinge is magnified.
Depression tells you it doesn’t exist. You’re still up and moving, working and paying bills. You can’t be depressed.
celli
March 24, 2015 @ 2:26 pm
Oh, man, that one hits home.
celli
March 24, 2015 @ 2:29 pm
Depression thinks you deserve it.
Depression tells you not to talk about it.
Ouch, yes.
Depression says “you can take your meds later” over and over for hours or days.
Depression reminds you that you don’t want to be a burden every time you think about asking for help.
Depression is a dick.
Marie
March 24, 2015 @ 3:45 pm
Depression snafus are the end of the world…
Great list; even when drowning in snafus, it helps a lot.
Erica Wagner
March 24, 2015 @ 4:21 pm
Thanks for sharing this, Jim. So, so true 🙁
Gena H.
March 24, 2015 @ 5:05 pm
Depression forgets that you were ever happy before.
Good post!
Melanie Chorisglossa
March 24, 2015 @ 5:40 pm
I want to cross stitch this on a pillow.
Well done, both Jim and Josh.
And so very, *very* sorry that anyone has to endure the condition that is depression. (Myself included.)
Jim C. Hines
March 24, 2015 @ 6:08 pm
Thanks, Lynn. I’ve been talking to a therapist about this stuff for several years now. Overall, I’m doing a lot better these days, but there are still times when it waits for the right moment to pounce, you know?
Random Michelle
March 24, 2015 @ 6:15 pm
F depression.
When I’m bad, I wear my Bloggess “Furiously Happy” necklace. It’s a physical reminder that depression is an f’ing liar.
Lars
March 24, 2015 @ 6:22 pm
Depression tells you to take a quick break with your addictive smartphone.
Depression tells you it’s not worth the bother.
Depression tells you somebody has done it better already.
Depression tells you that your failures are your own fault while your successes are just luck.
Depression tells you you don’t really need to do it now.
Ian Osmond
March 24, 2015 @ 6:34 pm
Depression systematically attacks and destroys all the tools you need to fight depression, before you even know it’s there.
Morgan Brilliant
March 24, 2015 @ 6:49 pm
Yes.
And depression says you can’t be depressed because you’re taking your meds.
A. Pendragyn
March 24, 2015 @ 8:37 pm
A definition of “FINE” – F@cked up, Insecure, Neurotic and Emotional. Sometimes it helps when an ally knows to ask, are you fine or FINE fine? Because depression doesn’t want you to embarrass yourself by asking for support.
I want to make these up all pretty and frame them and put them all over the house to remind myself of these truths. Or cross stitch if I’m feeling really fancy.
Danielle F.
March 24, 2015 @ 11:44 pm
Depression reminds you you’re an impostor.
Depression forces you to be an actor.
Depression watches you go through the motions.
Depression is the familiar enemy.
Depression reminds you it’s not the enemy; the enemy is yourself.
Depression shows you news articles on over-medicated Americans.
Depression is a siren, luring you to the rocks.
Depression can suck it big time.
Amanda Elam
March 25, 2015 @ 10:11 am
Depression is made to measure, there is always one to fit you!
SorchaRei
March 25, 2015 @ 10:21 am
Depression convinces you that depression is a moral failing, not an illness, and thus your fault for not being a decent human being.
Beth Wheeler
March 25, 2015 @ 11:26 am
And another way to think about it — depression is an altered state of consciousness. It is as far from a “normal” headspace as walking and talking in your sleep. The logic of depression isn’t logic, and for that reason it is not amenable to being talked away.
Jeff
March 25, 2015 @ 6:06 pm
Depression can also be a catalyst for change. Many major changes in a persons life are accompanied with some depression. Depression can be an indicator of problems with society. Depression can inspire creativity. The glass is half full…
McMullen
March 25, 2015 @ 6:25 pm
Depression doesn’t lie. Depression doesn’t have a mind. It is part of consciousness. Depression merely tells you that your inner self and your outer self are not at peace. Listen to your inner self and make it your outer self.
Jim C. Hines
March 25, 2015 @ 6:37 pm
For the record, nobody here has asked for advice from people who haven’t been there. Thanks.
McMullen
March 25, 2015 @ 7:44 pm
Trust me, your not the only one with depression. And not everybody who is depressed is hopeless. Nobody asked you for your thoughts either. You simply stated them as I am doing now. I’m not giving advice. I’m simply stating my view (an opinion) and I am open to other views or I would not have commented. Thanks
Jim C. Hines
March 25, 2015 @ 7:49 pm
“Nobody asked you for your thoughts either.”
I am so not in the mood for this today. Go away.
Jim C. Hines
March 25, 2015 @ 8:49 pm
You might have noticed that your next follow-up comment hasn’t appeared. That’s because when I say “go away,” it doesn’t mean, “Please come back and leave another defensive, condescending comment that completely misses the point.” It means you’re done here.
Not because anyone is offended by your opinion, but because you’re proving yourself a repeat violator of Wheaton’s Law.
Bookewyrme
March 25, 2015 @ 11:01 pm
That last line, yea so much that one too. Anxiety does the same thing (You go outside and meet people all the time, what social anxiety??) and then the two get together and form a chorus line.
Anyway, no words of wisdom from me, just *virtual hugs* for everyone reading this list and nodding along and especially to Jim. Depression can go screw a bag of cacti.
Ktbenbrook
March 26, 2015 @ 4:49 am
Depression wants you to come back, after you leave it behind. It whispers how it wasn’t so bad and to come back to the familiar and stop needlessly struggling. It wants to hug you and whisper lies, telling you that you belong in the dark pit.
The Advice Checklist
March 26, 2015 @ 10:08 am
[…] rant list has been brought to you by a few comments on this blog post, and by observations about the internet in general. Before jumping in to immediately offer advice […]
Katherine Lopez
March 26, 2015 @ 11:18 am
“Listen to your inner self and make it your outer self.” I don’t even know what this means, in this or any other context.
Morgan Brilliant
March 26, 2015 @ 2:27 pm
Given the nature of the beast, I find the idea frightening.
Denise
March 26, 2015 @ 2:34 pm
Jim, thank you for reminding me, today especially, that I am not alone, and that depression lies. I really needed that today.
Stephanie Whelan
March 26, 2015 @ 2:41 pm
Went back and read this today. Had one of my mornings where I woke up despairing it was morning. And yeah–there it is.
sistercoyote
March 26, 2015 @ 3:14 pm
Yeah. This. Right here.
Which is why it’s so important, *when we can*, to remember the last item on this list. Depression lies.
Nicole
March 26, 2015 @ 3:48 pm
Sums up my experience with depression entirely. (Hugs)
Hope M.
March 26, 2015 @ 5:09 pm
The first two on the list: “Depression lurks in a corner. Depression waits for an opening.” Those are the two facts that have me living in daily terror. The question of when it will hit is always in the back of my mind. And…get this…I just realized it’s been FIVE YEARS since I’ve had an episode. Five years! And I am still afraid, because it’s still there and always will be.
Morgan Brilliant
March 26, 2015 @ 5:42 pm
First, and I apologize if this is offensive in some way, congratulations on your remission.
Second, and this is something that goes with all kinds of invisible illnesses, don’t be afraid to enjoy the good days. It’s hard sometimes. These are days when depression says you can’t be sick. These are days when some people tell you that you can’t be sick.
Thomas Hewlett
March 26, 2015 @ 7:22 pm
“Depression thinks you’re weak.”
And depression wants me to think I’m weak too. It’s been telling me that a lot lately. But today I let myself remember (again and again) that I’ve survived this far despite all its attempts to take me down.
Depression can f*ck off.
Tapati
March 26, 2015 @ 9:37 pm
Depression is calling from inside the house.
Morgan Brilliant
March 27, 2015 @ 1:01 pm
And I’m realizing that the second paragraph might come off as flippant. It’s not meant that way, and I apologize if it does.
Tammie
March 27, 2015 @ 8:18 pm
Everyone suffering from depression, please have your vitmin d levels checked.
Persnickety
March 28, 2015 @ 5:35 am
Depression hides in a dark alley, waiting to mug your happy moments.
Depression is a spectator at the pain Olympics.- it manifests in different ways in people and it is all to easy to compare those.
Mike
April 12, 2015 @ 2:16 pm
Right, that is just what it is. If you feel like checking a blog about my fighting depression : http://whatdepressionfeelslike.com/