“Releasing doves at a wedding is supposed to be a sign of prosperity. Tell me, princess, what does it portend when the doves try to eat the guests?” -Charlotte Moors
The Stepsister Scheme
|
20 Neil Gaiman Facts
- Neil Gaiman once wrote a Nebula-winning story using only the middle row of his keyboard.
- Harper Collins has taken out a 2.5 million dollar insurance policy on Neil Gaiman’s accent.
- If you write 1000 words and Neil Gaiman writes 1000 words, Neil Gaiman has written more than you.
- Neil Gaiman does not use Microsoft’s grammar-check. Microsoft uses a Gaiman-check.
- Neil Gaiman once did the New York Times crossword puzzle in pen. In fifteen minutes. He won two Hugo awards for it.
- Neil Gaiman is who the Ghostbusters call.
- Most agents charge a 15% commission. Neil Gaiman’s agent pays him an extra 15% for the privilege of saying “I’m Neil Gaiman’s agent.”
- William Shakespeare once came back from the dead to ask for Neil Gaiman’s autograph.
- Neil Gaiman is the reason nobody teaches “I before E except after C” anymore.
- Some writers take inspiration from the muse. The muse takes inspiration from Neil Gaiman.
- Neil Gaiman once groped Harlan Ellison.
- The pen is mightier than the sword; Neil Gaiman has mastered fourteen different styles of penmanship.
- Rumor has it that a NY editor rejected Neil Gaiman’s first book. This can not be confirmed, as the editor in question was never heard from again.
- Neil Gaiman can tweet 175 characters.
- Neil Gaiman’s personal library includes an autographed copy of the Necronomicon.
- Hitler actually won World War II. Then Neil Gaiman wrote an alternate-history story in which the allies won, and reality was too intimidated to argue the point.
- Some authors write in omniscient point of view. Neil Gaiman lives it.
- Neil Gaiman’s next novel is expected to win the Nebula, the Hugo, and the Heisman Trophy.
- In any given week, 7 of the top 10 books on the NYT Bestseller List are by pseudonyms of Neil Gaiman.
- Neil Gaiman has never written a deus ex machina ending. However, God once wrote a Gaiman ex machina ending.
|
|
This is great! I’m planning on devoting the month of November to Neil Gaimon on my blog. I haven’t read any of his work yet, but I’l be rectifying that. He seems to be such a stand up guy. I’ll be sure to link to this during November!
Thank you!
The first Gaiman book I read was Good Omens, which he cowrote with Terry Pratchett. It remains one of my favorite books to this day.
That was my first book by him too, one of my favorites.
I think my favorite is number 11. Although I’d pay good money to hear Neil give a Heisman speech.
Looking at the comments on LiveJournal, 11 appears to be one of the top choices. Though I suspect the less hardcore SF/F folks are scratching their heads at that one
This is great! I will definitely be sending people over to check out this post.
Thank you! Very glad you enjoyed ‘em!
This is unbelievably awesome.
Thanks, Ann
Len Wein taught Neil Gaiman to use a pen to do the NY Times Crossword Puzzel AND is the reason that Neil Gaiman is a writer. How come Len doesn’t have Hugo and Nebula Awards? How come Neil isn’t yet in the Eisner Hall of Fame.
In all seriousness, because of spousal-unit Len, I’ve known Neil since before he was NEIL GAIMAN and he’s one of the nicest people I’ve ever met. He’s earned every bit of his fame. I think this is one of the fall-down funniest things I’ve ever read. You’d be surprised at how many die-hard sf&fers do know what the Heisman is (although I think the boys on The Big Bang Theory might have a problem with it.)
I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone say a nasty word about Neil Gaiman. From everything I’ve seen of him, he seems to be a genuinely good guy.
Very funny. Guess it’s time to read Neverwhere again.
17 - Some authors write in omniscient point of view. Neil Gaiman lives it.
I L.O.L.
C:
I discovered Neil with Doll’s House, the second Sandman collection, and I’ve pounced on *everything* he’s done since then (except the Duran Duran book… ha!). Why hasn’t Good Omens been filmed yet? #20 is my personal fave.
Hm … Good Omens might be tricky to do right. Some kinds of humor don’t always translate from book to screen all that well.
I’d still be buying a ticket for opening day, though
Wonderful! This list is SO true.
I don’t know why I waited so long to check this out. Those were awesome.
This is so awesome. I wish I would’ve written it.
“Neil Gaiman’s next novel is expected to win the Nebula, the Hugo, and the Heisman Trophy.” was my favorite.
Here via tor.com, and number 11 made me snort. Thanks!
Neil Gaiman can write in fourth person.
::Snarf:: Love it!
very funny, very appropriate tit-for-tats. all of them. take a bow, mr. hines.
Now I’m envisioning some sort of epic showdown between Neil Gaiman, Vin Diesel and Chuck Norris.
I remember that story mentioned in #1. Who could ever forget the tale of Half-Sad Jak’s gash’d ass?
In an average living room there are 1242 objects Neil Gaiman could use to kill you, including the room itself, simply by writing about them.
I am ridiculously amused by this. Not to mention tempted to write a story using only the middle keys. It’s the closest to Gaimanesque as I’m ever gonna get.
If you can pull off the middle-row story, I want to read it!
The best I can do is:
A lad has a gal. Alas, gal’s a hag. Sad lad.
Gaiman, I’m not.
Still impressive, given the limitations. Being limited to only one vowel looks like it would be a killer.
I look at it as further proof that I have too much free time and slight obsessive compulsive tendencies.
I took a shot at this in Swedish. My native keyboard has the advantage of two extra vowels in the middle row, but then the problems turn up as it’s almost impossible to write any words other than nouns and verbs in their base forms. Here goes:
Jag sa: Födas, älskas, dödas. Söka lada, sadla föl, laga, käka kök. Jäs; däs, öla adlad föl. Aga, jaga, löda, läsa, laga, läka, klöka, gala, älska. Köl döda. Slak. Jaha.
It might be translated thus:
I said: Be born, be loved, be killed. Seek barn, saddle foal, cook, eat food. Vegetate; dazed, beer knighted foal. Discipline, chase, solder, read, repair, heal, vomit, call out, make love. Keel kill. Withered. Oh well.
Impressive! Well done!
Black clothes don’t make Neil Gaiman look cool. Neil Gaiman makes wearing black cool, for which it is grateful.
Neil Gaiman doesn’t write books. Words assemble themselves out of respect for Neil Gaiman.
You got stumbled. wee
As much as I like the Gaiman books that I’ve read, I like hearing him read doubly so. He may very well have the best reading voice ever.
these are a bunch of modified chuck norris jokes
I think it’s more like the next stage of Vin Diesel jokes.
Just thought I’d mention–hilarious.
Cheers
Neil Gaiman was not born to write. Writing was born so that one day, Neil Gaiman could do it.
I would believe #7.
From what I’ve seen and read, his true superpower seems to be charm, both in life and on paper.
Awesome I love Gaiman’s work. My first was American Gods and after that I started snatching everything up xP I still need to pick up Stardust though. lol thing is I want a certain publication that’s a bit more expensive than the other cuz I like the cover better XP
anyways, I have another one for ya.
-Stephen King is one of Gaiman’s better known pen names-
This list goes to 21….
yes, but it goes to 21…
He’s good yes, but not that good. Kinda average writer really….
Average? are you kidding? have you actually ever read any of his stuff?
Nothing average about it, bub. Particularly Sandman.
Yer outta yer mind.
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Jenn Reese, fantasycafe, Jessica T., Rene Sears and others. Jenn Reese said: Very funny stuff! RT @jimchines: New Post: 20 Neil Gaiman Facts http://bit.ly/2mxp5 [...]
[...] Hines spills the beans about Neil Gaiman. Which includes the excellent, “#9 Neil Gaiman is the reason nobody teaches “I before E [...]
[...] 20 Neil Gaiman Facts
[...] Neil Gaiman Facts. [...]
[...] 20 Neil Gaiman Facts which (it goes without saying) are all totally true. [...]
[...] a semi-related note, hi’s “20 Neil Gaiman Facts” – the literary equivalent of those Chuck Norris hyperbole lists – is one of the [...]