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Baby Got Books (Intro) I like big books and I cannot lie. No time for writers I’m tired of magazines, Readers (yeah), readers (yeah) (Bulging shelves with the epic plotlines) I like ’em thick and dense. I wanna read Durham, So bookstores (yeah), bookstores (yeah), (Bulging shelves with the epic plotlines.) Yeah baby So you only read the Cliff Notes, The internet is for cat pics, right? Well, this is for everyone who misread the title of my next e-book collection…
This was made from the final artwork, so I’ll be working in Photoshop to get the real cover put together and ready to go. I’ll probably post it here to get one last round of feedback, ’cause y’all are just too darn helpful. Normally, I’d run a First Book Friday post here. Alas, I didn’t have one ready. I’ve got several invitations out, but since I’m not paying for these posts, I don’t feel right setting deadlines or pressuring people who are already taking the time to write something for us. So then I was going to do a First Book Friday roundup with links back to all the posts. (The clip show of blogging.) But then I had another idea. Since the Writing Reality Check comic was the most popular post I’ve done in months, why not do another comic? And I knew just the message I wanted to get across.
(Yeah, I don’t think Randall Munroe has anything to fear from me.) Yes, I’m totally laughing at myself here. But I take comfort from the fact that I’m laughing at all the rest of us, too.
(Official copyright notice: feel free to do whatever the heck you want with this one. Credit would be nice if you decide to repost, but I’m not about to go all DMCA on your ass over a cartoon that took me a half hour to throw together.) Jim is on vacation this week, and is blogging from the past! He has very little Internet access, but will read and catch up on comments eventually. Fun fact: Monday’s blog post was written three days in the past. But this one was written seven days in the past! That’s right, Jim is moving backward in time!!! He promises to bring you back a dinosaur. #
Then here we are, half a decade later. The third book is out, and readers everywhere are rushing to read it. (At least, that’s the vision I’m choosing to hold on to!) So today’s blog question is: Hey Jim, why should I join the dozens millions billions of people reading Red Hood’s Revenge? Good question, made-up reader! Here are my completely objective and unbiased answers, many of which are actually true. 1. Talia’s fairy curse. I’m not going to spoil this, but the writers out there know the feeling you get when you come up with a twist that just feels right, something that blows you away. The “truth” behind Sleeping Beauty’s curse did that for me, and I’m hopeful readers will feel the same way. 2. There will be smooching! (No, it’s not a kissing book. It has plenty of fencing and fighting, too.) 3. Hey, what ever happened to _______? I answer this question, for a certain value of ______. 4. All of the cool kids are reading it. 5. If you rearrange the words in the right order, you get a secret message from the president of Zenbox VII. 6. Two words: sewer goblins. 7. Certain elements in this book are guaranteed to offend twice as many people as previous books. 8. The pages are pine scented, so you can use the book as an air freshener for your car after you finish reading. 9. Gazebo. 10. Because kick-ass princesses are awesome, that’s why! In addition to me doing more around the house while my wife recovers, we’re also getting ready for vacation next week, and of course I’m prepping some things for the release of Red Hood. (Yes, when my book comes out, I will be up north where I’ll have little Internet access, and where there’s only one tiny microbookstore within 50 miles. Yes, this will make me approximately 73% crazier than usual.) Anyway, this is my long-winded way of saying life has doled out an extra dose of busy lately, so rather than a long, thoughtful blog post, I’m just gonna play today. Your role, should you choose to accept it, is to ask a yes/no question. Any question. I shall answer it. I will do my best to answer all questions, but if it’s something I consider too personal or too spoilery (or if I just don’t know), then your answer may be a bit more random… It surprises me sometimes how many people are uncomfortable reviewing books. I don’t mean a professional, paid review for the New York Times, but just a note on the blog or Amazon or wherever. A lot of people have told me they just don’t know what to say, or they don’t believe they can write a good review. Fear not good people, for I have the solution. Mad Libs Reviews take the stress from reviewing, and make for a much more entertaining read. (In some cases, probably more entertaining than the actual book.) If I were a programmer, I’d set up an app to do this automatically. But I’m not, so we do it the old fashioned way. Choose your words, then read your review of a hypothetical goblin book. Feel free to share any particularly fun lines in the comments. (But remember, this is a family-friendly blog.) Have fun, and tune in next week when I use Mad Libs to write the promo piece for THE SNOW QUEEN’S SHADOW! 1. Noun: ________________ I’ve seen a lot of Internet “discussions” go down in flaming, twisted wrecks over the years. I want to thank everyone who commented on the blog this week. I love that people are able to disagree, but are still willing to listen to what others are saying. I love that while these are things people feel passionately about, I never once had to bring out the Moderator Hammer of Doom. I love that I came away from the discussions with a lot more to think about. Thank you all for that. I had planned to write more today, but I’ve got nothing. I haven’t even caught up on all the comments from yesterday (and I doubt I’m going to be able to respond to everything). So instead, I figured I’d post something fun. Something with ten times the recommended daily allowance of awesomeness. Something like a ninja, who also happens to be a doctor, riding a raptor into battle.
(This is from The Adventures of Dr. McNinja, a silly and thoroughly entertaining web comic which, as far as I can tell, was created mostly for the excuse to draw scenes of ridiculous awesomeness.) General rule: don’t respond to reviews. But then, every rule has an exception… Joshua Palmatier recently posted a review of Mermaid’s Madness that pointed out what he felt was an error. “…at one point, Snow knocks someone down, but without any sign of recovery, the person is back up a few pages later.” I haven’t gone back to double-check this in my book, and I don’t intend to. The book is in print, and it’s not like I can recall and change the copies even if he’s right. Instead, I’ve written a note for my own future reference: When Snow knocks you down, you stay the @#$% down! |
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Copyright © 2012 Jim C. Hines - All Rights Reserved |
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So Red Hood’s Revenge 
