Taunting the Internets

Two quick reminders first:

1. BSC Review will be giving away a set of Goblin Quest miniatures on June 29.  Enter now!  You know you want ’em.

2. I’m giving away a copy of Stepsister over at SF Novelists.

Dear Anton Strout – I seem to have sold a werejaguar story. With zombies in it (sort of). You wish you were as cool as me.

Dear John Scalzi – Cherry Coke Zero is far superior to regular old Coke Zero.

Dear Catherine Shaffer – Didn’t I ever tell you I was polycatherous?

Dear Alethea Kontis – <Dr. Drakken>You think your feet are all that, but they’re not!</Dr. Drakken>

Dear Cory Doctorow – Information does not want to be free.  Information wants to be bound, gagged, and spanked hard.

Dear Robert – Hey look, I found you some legs!

Dear Wil Wheaton – I know your secret.  I know why you keep missing Penguicon, and why Amazon still won’t ship me my copy of Just a Geek after three freaking months.  “Wil Wheaton” is just a Pixar-produced computer animation!

Dear Elizabeth Bear – Actually, never mind.  I’ve seen those climbing muscles.  You could kill me with your toes.  No taunt for you!

Dear Paul Abbamondi – Don’t think I’ve forgotten.  Your time is coming, goblin-hater!

Dear Random Person who’s feeling left out because you didn’t get a taunt – Maybe that omission is the taunt!  Ha!  Bow before my meta-taunting skills!

The B Team

Dear Hollywood — what do you think?



In 2009 a crack fiction unit was pushed to the backlist for a crime they didn’t commit.  These characters promptly escaped from low print runs to the Internet underground.  Today, still wanted by fans, they survive as soldiers of fortune.  If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you’re really desperate, maybe you can hire the Blue Team.

Goblin Quest miniatures are from Garden Ninja studios.  Want your own set?  Check out their site for unpainted, patina-finished, or custom painted minis.  Or head over to BSC Review, where they’re giving away a free set of patina-finished goblin miniatures.

Tick figure is from a garage sale.  You’re on your own for that one.

Jim C. Hines